6 Struggles The Girl Who’s Terrible At Talking About Her Feelings Experiences When Dating

Twenty20 / mymood
Twenty20 / mymood

1. You unintentionally become a pushover.

When you don’t say what’s bothering you, your partner will think you’re incapable of being bothered. It’s not that people never make you angry, it’s that you’re hesitant to show when you’re blatantly upset. The moment you begin to let someone take advantage, is when it becomes a problem. You don’t have to justify the way you feel, but if you hide your feelings no one will ever know you’re feeling them.

2. You think you’re better off avoiding conflict than saying how you really feel.

Sometimes you’re willing to swallow your annoyance in order to detour confrontation. Conflict isn’t something you’re afraid of, it’s just something you don’t feel like dealing with, so you push whatever anger you’re feeling aside and hope one day that you don’t spontaneously combust, but the more anger and annoyance you push aside, the more frustrated you will eventually become with your partner. Sometimes holding back is more damaging than the confrontation you’re attempting to avoid.

3. You become uncomfortable when your partner asks about your feelings.

You might even be allergic to the question. When you sense the conversation is heading in an emotional direction, you attempt to make a U turn. “I don’t know,” becomes a phrase you’re accustomed to using, and when that answer isn’t good enough for them, you have no idea how to express what’s spinning around in that head of yours.

4. You become impossible to relate to.

When you’re terrible at expressing yourself, no matter how hard your partner tries to understand you they won’t know what you’re feeling unless you tell them. They can’t relate to what you’re going through if they have no idea you’re even going through it (Obviously).

5. You feel like you have way more feelings than most people do.

It’s because you’re terrible at talking about them, so you feel like you have more feelings than everyone else, and that might be why you’re hesitant to share them, because you fear that your feelings are over exaggerated, or dramatic, or abnormal in every way possible. But the great thing about your feelings is that their YOURS, and no one else’s, and chances are your partner won’t judge you for having them. If they do, then clearly you two aren’t completely compatible.

6. You often feel misunderstood.

Your mode of self expression isn’t always conventional for a relationship, and sometimes you’re uncertain of the best way to say what’s on your mind. Stop looking for the best way, because there is no ‘right’ way to voice your feelings, there is just the way you choose to do it. You’re feeling misunderstood because you have trouble saying what you mean, but everyone has a different way of communicating, and maybe yours is more unconventional than simply talking. Write it down, draw a picture, burn something, whatever you need to feel heard, go for it, and then you’ll end up feeling a little less misunderstood. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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    This is very true.

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    My fallback plan has always been the rational approach. To rationally discuss a problem that I have issues with… in order to avoid emotions. And I feel really awkward if emotion get involved. I am all ‘let’s not get emotional here.’ I have been referred to as ‘aloof’ and ‘stoic’. I have the feels, man, so many feels.

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