10 Signs You’re Single Because You Haven’t Found A Partner Who’s As Weird As You Are

1. When you’re on a date and say ‘Does that ever happen to you?’ They always respond, ‘No.’

You find it surprising that they’ve never had to climb a fire escape to break into their own apartment, or that they’ve never imagined owning 25 disabled dogs, those weird occurrences/thoughts only happen to you, I guess.

2. You laugh at your jokes more than your date does.

Sometimes your jokes are so weird that no one understands them but you.

3. Your dates call your hobbies ‘interesting.’

Because that’s their nice way of saying you’re really weird and you have really weird hobbies. It’s ‘interesting’ that you still collect quarters by their state even though you have all 50 states (and even though no one has done that since elementary school). It’s also ‘interesting’ that you have play dough in your kitchen cabinet. If your hobbies aren’t ‘interesting,’ they’re ‘eccentric.’

4. They don’t understand your sarcasm.

They mistake your sarcasm for you being serious. When you tell him that you have to call the babysitter after he invites you back to his place, he slowly starts to become very quiet. Just kidding, you don’t actually have a kid. Now the moment is just ruined. Still want to sleep with me?

5. When your friends set you up they tell the date that you’re ‘quirky.’

They’re trying to forewarn him so that he’s prepared when you use phrases like “That’s the bees knees” and when you wave him goodbye instead of hugging him or letting him kiss your cheek.

6. You go on a date and the date tries to set you up with one of his friends.

You’re clearly too weird for him, so in attempt at easing his own guilt he tries to give you his friend’s phone number. The first thing he tells you about this friend is that he has a love for Power Rangers. Oh, awesome, I’ll be sure to give him a call.

7. You sometimes wish there was a dating site for eccentrics.

You’re single in the digital age so like everyone else in this generation you want to try the whole online thing. Is there an Eccentrics Mingle? Or a Weird People Harmony? OkAwkwardCupid? You’re thinking of starting one.

8. You find you don’t relate to most people when it comes to dating.

You’re looking for someone special, someone who can understand you and your quirkiness and not only love it, but respond to it (instead of just looking at you with raised eyebrows). You’re tired of going on dates with people who don’t get you, your humor, or your peculiar habits. There’s only so many times you can explain yourself.

9. You find yourself saying, ‘Sorry was that weird?’ on every date.

You form a smiley face with the french fries on your plate…Was that weird? You comment on the waiter’s extremely defined collar bone…Was that weird? How many times have you said, “Was that weird?” on this date?

10. Common last words/texts you get from your dates are, ‘That’s weird.’

And you never hear from them again. Nice meeting you too.