1. Prioritizing your significant other.
We’re supposed to make our partners our priority, but it’s only natural to want to put our needs before theirs. Compromise is give and take, but giving in is just give. When you prioritize your significant other you’re doing things for their benefit and not your own, but what conventional relationship advice does not prepare you for, is when you want to prioritize yourself. Compromising shouldn’t require you to side step your own ambitions in order to fulfill someone else’s. Priorities should be bigger than one person, and one person should not be your main priority. A relationship that enables both individuals to focus on what’s important in each of their lives is a relationship worth aspiring to.
2. Feeding their ego.
Confidence is what makes your significant other feel good about themselves. You’re doing it to make them feel good, but their ego shouldn’t have to be your responsibility. When you’re in a relationship with a partner whose confidence is stable, it is much more comfortable than having to build it up from scratch. You can’t give someone else confidence no matter how many meals to their ego you feed, they have to find it within themselves, and your compliments are simple reassurance.
3. Letting them win arguments to avoid conflict.
Sometimes in a relationship it’s better to let them win, but sometimes you know they’re wrong and don’t want to. Petty arguments aren’t worth the wasted energy, but if you’re arguing over something that’s important to you, why should you have to forfeit your opinion? Your stance matters, and just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to become indifferent, or someone else’s doormat.
4. Lying when their feelings are at stake.
Little white lies don’t cause permanent damage, and often help more than they hurt. When your girlfriend asks if those pants make her butt look big, you’re going to say no, regardless of the truth, and that’s probably best for the both of you, but lies that will affect the way your partner trusts you are tangled webs not worth weaving. Feelings are fragile, but lying can be exhausting. Having a relationship certainly calls for compromises, but is honesty one of them?
5. Letting your partner complete you.
You always hear how partners complete each other, that they were one half and their partner made them whole, but not all of us have to compromise one half of ourselves in order to find the other. Many of us wish to make ourselves whole on our own. If relationships were puzzles, I’d want every piece to be my own, and I’d want to find someone who loves how they fit together. They don’t have to be the missing piece because the puzzle is already complete.