1. They will never break up with you.
Unlike a boyfriend, your dog will never say those four dreaded words, “We need to talk.” He won’t say, “It’s not you, it’s me,” and he most certainly will not tell you to come pick up your things from his place. Dogs don’t do breakups, they love you forever.
2. They love to cuddle.
Not all boyfriends are cuddlers, but most dogs are. When you need a non-verbal, “I’m here for you, it will all be okay,” your dog is there.
3. They can’t use a cell phone.
Your dog has paws, that don’t have fingers or opposable thumbs, which means no annoying text messages or calls. Your dog won’t call you at 2 AM drunk, he won’t text you when you’re having girls’ night asking when you’ll be home, and he will definitely not leave 14 missed calls at the end of your night.
4. They don’t judge you for eating too much.
Your dog was just outside eating a cigarette butt off of the city sidewalk, so he or she most certainly won’t judge you when you want to have a brownie, even after you just had 4 slices of pizza. Your dog doesn’t care what you eat, they just want your love.
5. They don’t judge you for drinking too much.
Your dog doesn’t judge you for drinking too much either. They are perfectly fine with your mimosa before noon, and they will always be there for you when you need someone to vent to after you drank 4 glasses of pinot grigio by yourself.
6. They don’t care if you stay in sweats the whole day.
Your dog won’t pester you into wearing something that shows off your ass. They don’t care if you’re in skinny jeans or flannels with Garfield on them. They are more than understanding when you just want to lay around, and they are more than willing to lay around with you.
7. They don’t stay mad very long.
Your boyfriend gets mad and stays mad. Your dog will give you sad eyes for about 30 seconds and within the next minute his eyes are smiling and his tail is wagging. You don’t have to grovel and apologize or beg for forgiveness, your dog forgives you before having to do any of that.
8. They are always excited to see you after you’ve been gone.
There is nothing better than coming home to a face that says, “I MISSED YOU TERRIBLY!” and “I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK!” Even when you’ve only been gone for a few hours, this is your dog’s reaction every time. Your boyfriend could go two weeks without seeing you, and his face just doesn’t make that same expression.
9. They are always there to listen.
It doesn’t matter that your dog can’t offer an exchange in conversation. Sometimes that’s what you love most. While your boyfriend has the potential to say something insensitive or down right insulting, your dog just listens.
10. They never give you attitude.
Your dog won’t make a sarcastic, snarky comment that makes you want to rip your own ears off when they’re upset. They don’t have attitude, just moods.
11. They always love spending time with you.
Your boyfriend might not always want to take a walk with you, but your dog most certainly does.
12. They don’t complain.
Your dog won’t ask you 500 times if you’re ready to leave the family party you made him go to, they won’t whine about your friend they don’t particularly like behind their back, and they most certainly won’t complain about things you can’t control, like the weather. Dogs are happy most of the time, your boyfriend might not be.
13. They don’t make you jealous.
You don’t worry about your dog flirting with another girl. You are always your dog’s number one. Loyalty is in their genes, boyfriends, not so much.
14. They love you unconditionally.
A dog’s love never goes away. Their love doesn’t falter or take a break for a few months, it doesn’t leave for a year only to come back realizing they made a huge mistake, it doesn’t disappear or end suddenly without your knowledge, it is constant and unconditional. Your dog’s love remains, even after they’re gone.