When You Want What Isn’t Good For You

Flickr / Pink Sherbet Photography
Flickr / Pink Sherbet Photography

I know it isn’t good for me, but that doesn’t make me want it any less.

The thing that is good for me won’t keep me on my toes; it will keep me grounded. It won’t lift me up to bring me down; it will make me level, but I don’t want to be level.

The thing that is good for me won’t keep me wanting more; it will leave me satisfied with the amount that is simply enough, but I don’t want ‘simply’ anything. I don’t want simple.

The thing that is good for me won’t keep me up at night wondering if it is too good to be true; it will give me the confidence to know that it’s not, but I don’t need confidence.

The thing that is good for me won’t be unpredictable; it will be safe. It will save me from questions with unknown answers, but I like to wonder. I like to question.

The thing that is good for me won’t be thrilling; it will bore me, and I don’t want to be bored. It won’t throw me for a free fall; it will make sure that I’m not close enough to step off of the edge, but I like the feel of falling.

Sometimes we want what we know isn’t good for us. Call it crazy, sad, or plain self-sabotage, but I like to think of it as living. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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