1. She laughs at your jokes even when they aren’t funny. She’s always smiling around you. Not only will she laugh at jokes that are completely unentertaining and lame, but she will laugh at things you say that you’re totally serious about. When you tell her you think you want a burger for lunch and she gives you a light giggle, her inner desire to sleep with you is subconsciously revealing itself.
2. She texts you when she’s drunk. When she is out with her friends and you’re not there, she’s thinking about you, and wishing you were, especially if alcohol is involved. Her innocent “Are you out?” text at midnight is more than just asking where you are. She’s wondering if you could potentially meet up with her later because she clearly wants to see you now. And when her texts start becoming more and more suggestive with each drink she consumes, her inhibition to blatantly say she wants to fuck you is slowly disappearing. Your conversation went from, “Are you out?” to “My bed feels so empty.” It’s not just the alcohol talking.
3. She jokingly insults you as a way of flirting. When she lightly says, “You’re such a jerk,” and gently pushes your pecs while doing so, she is really saying “Oh my god, you’re so cute. I want you.”
4. If you ask her to hangout she NEVER turns you down. Even if she is on her couch, in her sweats with a spoon and opened jar of Nutella, if you call her to go out, she’ll immediately put her skinny jeans on and meet up with you. Her night with Netflix and Nutella is easily postponed for you.
5. She’ll cancel other plans for you. When she has a dinner date with her mom on Saturday that has been planned since last Monday, and you ask her to go to somewhere as meaningless as Taco Bell, she will most certainly put her mom on the back burner. Sometimes she’ll even cancel plans with her girlfriends. She doesn’t want to have sex with her girlfriends, she wants to have sex with you.
6. She tries to hangout with you alone. There’s always going to be big events that you invite her to, and while she genuinely enjoys going, she’d much rather it be just you and her. When she constantly asks if anyone else will be there it’s because she hopes you’ll say no.
7. She listens to your stupid opinions. She will smile and nod her head even when you say something she completely disagrees with. She won’t start an argument with you because she doesn’t want you to think she’s annoying or disagreeable. She knows you won’t sleep with someone who debates every word that comes out of your mouth. Your thoughts on Donald Trump are irrelevant to her, but your disapproval of high-waisted jeans and maxi dresses she might take note of.
8. She is constantly adjusting herself when she’s around you. There’s a specific type of hair flip and bra strap adjustment that suggest more than her simply trying to be comfortable. When she tosses her hair to one side of her shoulder and pushes her boobs close together, she is trying to get your attention and make herself look more attractive…and fuckable.
9. She loves to eat phallic looking foods in front of you. When she eats a hotdog or popsicle she is making sure to put it in her mouth a certain way that will make you think of having sex with her. She’s very strategic when it comes to food choice.
10. When she’s texting someone and you ask who it is, she’ll be hesitant to tell you. She’s most likely texting her friend or her mom, but she wants you to think she’s texting another guy. She wants to be mysterious, and keep you on your toes.
11. She isn’t hooking up with other guys. And if she tells you she is, she’s probably lying. She most likely is investing all her sexual efforts into you, and doesn’t have the time or desire to think or have sex with anyone else.
12. She invites you over while she’s getting ready. She wants you to see her in a towel right as she gets out of the shower. In her mind this will make you think about her naked, which she most certainly wants to happen. When she talks to you from inside her bedroom as she’s putting clothes on she’s wishing you would come in and tear them off.
13. She pretends she’s too tired or drunk so she can stay at your place. When you end up at your place after you bought her just two vodka cranberries and she stumbles onto your couch saying she’s too tired to move, she isn’t. She wants to crash on your couch so that in the middle of the night she can tiptoe into your room and tell you she heard a scary noise. Anything she can do to possibly get in your bed, she will.