One month, three months, two years later, no matter how much time has passed the one you thought you were already over somehow pops back into your head like an unwanted advertisement on your favorite Pandora station. You know you’re over him…You’re pretty sure you’re over him, and when you start to doubt that you’re not, just because you’re thinking about him, remember that you are. You most certainly are over him.
1. You wonder what he’s up to.
You think about everything you used to know about his life, his job, his friends, his family, and you wonder what’s going on with all of them.
2. You consider reaching out.
If you had a nickel for every time you almost texted him you’d be a very rich woman. It’s a good thing he can only see that you’re typing if he has your message opened, because the amount of times you’ve typed out paragraphs and proceeded to delete them makes you look like a crazy person.
3. You picture the two of you getting back together.
Maybe it’s your boredom of being single, maybe you’re tired of going out every weekend only to be stared at by guys from across the bar, maybe you’re just feeling lonely. Whatever it is, it hasn’t stopped you from seeing the potential of a rekindling flame.
4. You compare other guys to him.
Even if you’re over him, you can’t help but compare the new guy. Brad has such a cute smile, but Derek’s laugh was charmingly unbeatable. Eric looked far better in a suit, but Dan made much better conversation in one.
5. You check out his social media because you refuse to reach out.
Well, if you can’t call him and see what he’s up to, thank god for Facebook and Instagram.
6. You find yourself bringing him up in conversations with friends.
“Remember that one night…” “Oh you mean with [insert name here]?” Then you just sort of nod your head without ever verbally confirming anything.
7. You’d much rather go back to something familiar than take time to get to know someone all over again.
The time it takes to actually get to know someone and trust them, only to have it not work out once again feels like a never ending marathon. You’re thinking about him again because you’re remembering how nice it was to just feel comfortable. Comfort may be nice, but clearly the comfort was only temporary if it ended, and besides it would probably be extremely uncomfortable at first to actually go back to him. Sort of like Ross and Rachel [being on a break].
8. You think about the future you both talked about, and how it is nothing like the present you are currently living.
You were supposed to go to his little sister’s sweet 16, and instead you’re on an awkward blind date with some guy your friend knows from work. You picture being held in his arms while watching his sister make a wish and blow out the candles, as you realize the reality of Mr. Fantastic Coworker sitting across from you slurping up a noodle of spaghetti while splattering tomato sauce on his chin. Don’t worry about the future you both discussed, because it will prevent you from realizing what the hell you are doing on this date, or with your personal life in general.
9. You think about starting new hobbies to distract yourself, but never actually start them.
I’m going to restring that guitar sitting in my parent’s basement, and learn to play! I’m going to join that new kickball team I saw flyers for down the street! I’m going to try cooking 5 new recipes every week! Those guitar strings are still broken, you haven’t kicked a ball, and your fridge is still empty. If you have the energy to think about all of these hobbies, you have the energy to do them, so just do it!
10. You consider Tinder.
Again, you’re probably just lonely, but hey whatever floats your boat. If you want to get your fingers back in swiping shape, feel free to do so, but don’t complain when your Tinder date turns out to be a disaster.
11. You ask if every guy ever mentioned by family and friends is single.
Your friend keeps bringing up the same guy in conversations. He seems funny, smart, easy going…Is he single? You find yourself asking that question a lot nowadays. You’re thinking about moving on, and getting over the guy you continue to question, but don’t try too hard. Just let life happen. You’ll meet someone eventually.
12. You wonder why you’re still thinking about him.
You’ll never know why so stop wondering. It’s okay to think about the past every once in a while. You both shared memories together, and it’s irrational to think you’re supposed to forget about them.
13. You begin to doubt that you’re actually over him.
Don’t doubt it. The only reason you’re thinking about him is probably because you haven’t found someone else to fill his shoes. Now is a good time to spend with yourself, and not worry so much about someone else. Enjoy the time you now have on your own. You’ll learn a lot about yourself if you just take the time to be a little selfish.