1. I’m sort of seeing someone.
This is definitely a lie, and you are more single than ever, but he doesn’t need to know that.
2. I have a boyfriend.
This one is for the persistent guys who take your “I’m sort of seeing someone,” as “this kid that I’m hooking up with needs to be replaced.” No, we didn’t mean that we are sort of seeing someone else, but want to see you instead, we were just trying to be a little less insulting. A firm stance like, “I have a boyfriend,” leaves no room for misinterpretation.
3. I have a really busy work schedule.
Again, who’s to say whether or not this is true, but that can remain a mystery to him. You make it sound like you’re a busy bee working longer than the average 9 to 5. Conference calls during lunch hours, working the occasional Saturday, it’s not you, it’s my career. That’s better than “I’m not interested…” Right?
4. I’m lesbian.
This is a bit extreme, but it will work. Just pull your best friend a little closer, hold her hand, put your arm around her waist. That will be convincing enough.
5. I’m leaving the country for a little while.
Some guys might actually see this as a perfect opportunity to sleep with you and never call you again, but tell them you have an early flight tomorrow morning, and want to sleep in your own bed…by yourself. ALONE.
6. No habla inglés.
Que? No comprende…
7. My religion is extremely strict about dating.
This will most likely scare him away with no explanation necessary. If not, tell him you share the same beliefs as The Duggars from 19 Kids And Counting, only side hugs until you’re married. He will be on the other side of the bar before you even finish your sentence.
8. I’m starting college in September.
You probably can’t pass for under 18, so just say you’re starting college and don’t specify a number. If you haven’t even entered your freshman year, hopefully he sees you as way too young for him. If not, that’s a little strange and you should get as far away from him as soon as possible.
9. I only date guys with money.
Okay, now this is totally b*tchy, but you’ve run out of excuses. If he is too persistent it’s time to unleash the inner b*tch. He asked for it.