1. How many alcoholic drinks you consume each week.
“Two glasses of wine Friday and Saturday.” Meanwhile, you’re barhopping with your friends until 2 am every weekend, and lose count of how many rum and cokes the bartender has handed you.
2. How often you exercise.
30 minutes, three times a week…if you count me walking to Rite Aid across the street to buy toilet paper, and walking to the liquor store across the other street to buy wine. Don’t forget going up and down the stairs. That counts right?
3. When they ask you if you’ve ever smoked anything other than cigarettes.
You mean like marijuana? No, never!
4. How many partners you’ve had sexual intercourse with.
Yes, they will phrase it the medically correct way that will most likely make you feel super uncomfortable, and if your number is up there, you will most likely lie when they ask. You’re not trying to be judged by your own doctor.
5. If you always use protection.
You nod your head. Up, down, up down.
6. Your sexual orientation.
Should you tell him about that one time in college? Nah.
7. Super personal questions like whether you’ve been physically or emotionally abused by a significant other or parent.
Well, my ex-boyfriend was a complete dick, but I’m pretty sure your office hours won’t cover the amount of time it would take to explain those issues.
8. Then once all the uncomfortable questions are over they ask about non-medical concerns like your schooling, or your job.
Yup, graduated. Yup, struggling to survive on my own in the real world. Sooo are you done asking me about who I’ve had sex with? Okay, great.