10 Things Every Guy Should (And Shouldn’t) Communicate To The Girl He Just Started Dating

Shutterstock / Ammentorp Photography
Shutterstock / Ammentorp Photography

1. Your intentions

Sounds like something our fathers would ask you before you take us to the homecoming dance, but it’s something we’d like you to let us know. Are you more curious about the bra that’s beneath this tank top or the brains beneath this beauty? If there is one thing we want to know from the guy we just started dating, it is whether or not he simply wants to sleep with us and peace out, or find a girl he truly enjoys being around and could potentially have a real relationship with. It’s simple: be honest and direct.

2. Your past relationships

I know you might think we want to know about your exes, but we don’t. It’s not only awkward when you bring up why your last relationship failed, but it also just puts other doubts and questions into our mind that we would much rather not think about. If your last relationship failed because your girlfriend keyed your car, you walked in on her having sex with your roommate, or what ever else could colossally destroy your hope for ever finding love, you can keep that to yourself.

3. Your interest in us

Are you playing hard to get? Or do you actually not like us? Don’t pretend to be less interested because you’re scared of how we will react. Be yourself, because otherwise we will be getting to know someone that you aren’t. We want to know you, not the person you think we want you to be. So don’t play games by answering our texts 3 days later because we may have already moved on, or determined that you just aren’t worth our mental exhaustion.

4. What you’re looking for in a woman

Not so we can mold ourselves to be your idea of living perfection, but because what you are looking for in a woman informs us about your character as a man. If you’re looking for a woman who loves to cook and clean, then we know you like to be catered to. If you’re looking for a woman who is independent and can think for herself, then we know you like to have your own space (and also appreciate intelligent women), if you’re looking for a woman who knows how to have a good time and can befriend even your most grumpy coworker, then we know you are a free spirited individual who lives in the moment.

5. Your finances or your salary

For richer or poorer, I don’t want nor need to know your latest purchases, or the amount of your monthly paycheck. Unless you want a woman who is going to use you for your money, or ditch you for your lack of it, finances and salary are not something you need to tell us when we first start dating.

6. Your passions

Not your favorite sports team or your favorite color, but your passion. What you wake up for every morning and what keeps you awake each night. A man who lives his life with passion is a man we want to get to know more. How buried beneath your surface is that passion and how large of a shovel do we need to discover it? We won’t go digging too deep in the first few dates, so it only works against you not to share.

7. Your offspring

The first few dates are definitely the time to communicate whether you have any tiny human beings running around with your DNA. If you have a child, or children, it doesn’t mean we are going to immediately run in the other direction, we would just appreciate knowing if you do. We’d rather not find out that you’re a father when we discover a jungle gym in your apartment, just be honest from the beginning. If you’re proud to be a father that is an admirable quality, if you’re trying to hide it, in our eyes that just makes you even more questionable.

8. Your family issues

When you first start dating someone, you might want to wait until you fully know and trust them before you share all of your family secrets and/or issues. If you haven’t talked to your mother in 7 years, or your sister is in jail, it’s a little deep for the first few dates. When we don’t know you well enough, we don’t know how to react to such personal details, and we also don’t know whether or not you need consoling. Save the deep and personal details for a little later down the line when we are completely comfortable with one another and one another’s feelings.

9. Your political party

Chances are if you’re an extreme liberal or conservative we will be able to tell simply from our conversation. You don’t need to blatantly tell us whether you are republican or democrat. Political debates should be saved for after the “just started dating” phase.

10. Your number

If you like us, give us your digits, so we can make this first date turn into a second! Sure, we can always ask, but it’s nice if you voluntarily give that information up before we even need to.

Happy Dating! TC mark

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