Why Online Dating Can Make Finding A Relationship Even More Difficult


You may think of online dating as a last resort to finding you everlasting love, when in reality the only thing it’s making everlasting is your status as single.

Being Single is Not a Disease

Family and friends who refer you to online dating, newsflash: being single is not a disease and dating is nothing like going to the doctors, so we don’t need to be “referred” to anything. When you are suggested to give online dating a try it is like being told you’ll never find a significant other in real life. Do we have to resort to finding someone from behind a computer screen? Maybe it is better to just keep living your life and doing the things you love to do each and everyday.

If you haven’t met anyone because you are stuck in the same routine, yes that can be a problem, but it doesn’t mean you immediately have to go online. Keep doing the things you enjoy, but change up the venue. If you go for a long run every weekend, don’t continue to go to the same park. Try a new location. You never know who you’ll (no pun intended) run into.

You Never Know What You’re Going to Get

Life may be like a box of chocolates, but when it comes to online dating you could open a box of chocolates and get a box full of celery. Online dating requires everyone to set up a profile, and sometimes what you see on your computer is not what you get in real life. That selfie he has as his default makes him look like Brad Pitt, but when you meet him face to face the lighting in the restaurant makes you realize he is more of a Zach Galifianakis. Not to say that the Zach Galifianakis types are undateable, in fact they can often be the best type there is, but online dating photos set up expectations that are almost never met when you actually meet the person face to face.

It could be the reverse effect as well. An extremely charming, intelligent, and funny guy may not be the most photogenic, and you scan right over his picture on OkCupid, but if you were to meet him in person his charms and humor might make you give him a second look. An online profile can never give full justice to the real life human being who’s behind the screen.

Mixed Messages

There is no better way to get to know someone than to have a real life conversation and interaction with them. When there is a screen, and who knows how many miles in between you two, it tends to obscure who the other person really is. You could spend a whole month messaging someone who you thought you were perfect for until you finally meet them and realize you two could not be more wrong for each other. There is often a hesitance to meet someone who you met on the internet, but no matter how long you message the person, it still doesn’t change the fact that you met them online.

Yes, in terms of security you want to make sure the person is not an axe murderer, which may take a few messages, but even after all of that messaging you still don’t fully know them. What if all of that messaging just turns out to be a waste of time? What if you missed out on Joe in real life (someone with an actual name) because you were too busy focusing on “FlyGuy9” who you realize never even revealed his real name? Sometimes in the online universe there is just a little too much mystery to handle.

Reject City

Not only can online dating make you feel like a reject who can’t find a guy any other way, but it can also make you become way too picky and reject people you normally wouldn’t. When you participate in online dating you see very specific details about your potential significant other right away and all at once. If you’re the type to have ultimatums and standards for your potential suitors, online dating makes them that much more evident.

You could learn a person’s religious beliefs before you learn where they are from. All of these little details that online dating profiles reveal before you actually get to know a person make rejection so much easier to carry through. You could reject someone online because of a tiny statistic they reveal to you in their profile, when in real life you might actually truly enjoy their personality and could overlook that minute detail. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

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