Let me help you recapture your millennial audience by letting you help me become a functioning adult. I desperately want to become a morning person.
A diary is where you document your highs and lows in the ink color of your choosing. A calendar contains all of the in betweens.
Italian: Going to confession.
Ja, Männer können Brünetten sein. (Yes, men can be brunettes.)
5. The Sixth Sense: Something about their lips is giving you a weird feeling. You’re not quite sure if they’re dead or alive.
There are fingers in my hair. They run along the line where my forehead and hairline meet and the backs of my earlobes. The fingers are sweet and soft. The fingers are kind.
The anger made my blood boil. The blood helped the rest of my muscles loosen. Slowly, I let my body take up the natural physical space it’s meant to occupy.
Rihanna crawls around on the floor while “Birthday Cake” plays in the background. This would be extremely awkward if anyone else tried it, but it’s Rihanna, so somehow it works.
She explained to me that one night, every year, the Nutcracker has to travel the globe, much like Santa Claus, but instead of delivering gifts to children, she was responsible for delivering feminism to misogynists and harassers.
When I got tired of worrying about how tired I was going to be, and telling everyone I was going to die, I decided to plan my funeral.