All I (A Millennial) Want For Christmas In 2018

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Read This Millennial’s Christmas List From Last Year Here

1. Daisy Ridley’s personal trainer

2. Scratch that, change to “Daisy Ridley as a personal trainer”

3. Can everyone stop referring to the new Lion King as “live action”? It’s definitely just more realistic animation…

4. A Whitney Houston biopic starring Rihanna

5. To be the Ocean’s 9 in the Ocean’s 8 sequel

6. I know Riri is slaying the film and fashion industries, but I’m also just like every other obnoxious person on the internet – WHERE IS THE MUSIC?!?!

7. A re-cut of the “thank u, next” music video with more 13 Going On 30 Jennifer Garner references

8. A Jon & Kate Plus 8 reboot where the kids are all grown up

9. Blake Lively’s tux and red leather gloves from A Simple Favor, even though I still haven’t seen the movie despite obsessing over the trailer

10. A joint Amanda Bynes-Lindsay Lohan comeback film

11. For all of this expensive lotion I put on my neck to actually do something because god forbid the one thing I have in common with Priyanka Chopra is a neck crease…

12. For Nick and Priyanka to last longer than Pete and Ariana

13. The Mueller investigation results

14. For Obama to serenade me with a slow jam (the dirtier the better)

15. All the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez news articles

16. The OA Season 2

17. DARK Season 2

18. A new teen drama that’s basically The O.C. except everyone is in their 30s and it’s called Soho House and the catchphrase is “Welcome to Soho House, bitch.”

19. To understand the hype surrounding Amazon (I just don’t)

20. More excuses to write with pen and paper

21. Someone to tell me KStew is getting rid of her Billy Ray Cyrus skunk hair for Charlie’s Angels

22. Despite much anticipation, I was not thrilled with Colette, so I’m gonna need Keira Knightly to step it up in her next period piece, The Aftermath

23. I’m here for all the Spanish language content on Netflix but that last season finale of Cable Girls better have been a fake-out…

24. To look as intellectual in a turtleneck and blazer as Donald Glover did in that SNL Barbie Sketch

25. For my computer to automatically play this video when I’m stressed, sad, bored, pms-ing, tired, etc.

26. Could cooking be as easy as they make it look in my Facebook newsfeed?

27. I don’t need a self-driving car, I just want one that can dig itself out of the snow

28. I ordered the NY Times Sunday delivery and it’s only showed up once, and they’ll refund me the money, but I just want the actual fucking newspaper

29. Lorde wrote her fans a letter about her tour ending, and I got it in my e-mail and it was so cute and I didn’t know she also likes toast and now I wish we could be pen pals or friends who eat toast together