What It Means To Love An Extrovert

Loving an extrovert means letting them take you out. Knowing that they will never run out of date ideas, that they will pour all of their energy into creating special experiences for the two of you to share. It means recognizing that dragging you out in public is their way of trying to get closer to you and only you.

It means letting them set the mood with high heels and bare legs, red lips and red wine. Because an extrovert will do everything in their power to win you over, and once they have your affection they will never stop working to keep it that way. Because they know how to recognize something special, something rare. They will not take so much as a spark for granted, knowing it is something that needs to be cherished and sheltered and fed.

So it means letting them parade you around because they are so proud to be with you because they want nothing more than to heighten your anticipation. It means letting them entice all of your senses with perfumed pulse points and candlelit dinners. It means never ever skipping dessert.

Because an extrovert will draw out the evening as long as they can bear, all for that one moment they get to take you by the hand and whisk you away to somewhere private. A dark corner, an alley, the bathroom. Somewhere they can look you in the eyes and run their thumb along your cheekbone, pulling you into a slow, soft kiss. A kiss they wait for you to deepen and build, swell and crescendo, like a complex piece of music. A kiss that ends with them pleading with their lips to take you home.

Because when an extrovert loves you, they will invite you into their home, eagerly. To share their bed, to penetrate their sanctuary. Because no one is an extrovert 24/7. And while they may project the illusion that their lifestyle is one of Sunday brunches, shots forced on their friends, and flirting with strangers, even extroverts lead rich, inner, private lives.

For every party, there is a trip home alone. There is silence. For every drunken stupor, there is a morning hangover, an anxious reckoning with one’s own insecurities and flaws. There is a loneliness that propels every extrovert to seek what they are missing in others. So when an extrovert loves you, it means understanding everything they have finally found after searching for so long. It means seeing the depths of their sincerity, the level to which they value your connection.

Because an extrovert will never be with you just for attention. They will not use you for an ego boost or for a rebound. They have no need for more surface level interactions – their friendly personalities and curious natures provide them with an endless supply of casual acquaintances. So when an extrovert loves you, it is for nothing less than the deepest, most soulful connection they have ever known. Because you have something to give that they can’t get from anyone else.

So it means letting them introduce you to whoever they run into on the street. It means measuring the size of their smile when a friend screams their name out in a bar. It means accepting them when they get loud and obnoxious and put on a show to make everyone laugh. It means not being jealous when they put all their focus into cheering up a friend, and instead admiring them for their loyalty.

Because when an extrovert loves you, it means never having to fight for their attention. You will only have to beckon them with your eyes from across the room to make them come running. It means being the only one who can make the hair on the back of their neck stand up when you whisper their name. It means knowing that this smile, a smaller smile, a devilish smile, comes from nothing more than the desire to transform this whisper into a whimper.

A whimper that has the power to make their heart stop.

But despite their love of all your sounds, an extrovert will also cherish your silences. Because when an extrovert loves you, it means being the only person they can hold without saying a word. It means them letting you in, into the side of them that is quiet and attentive and only wants to listen.

Because if an extrovert loves you, it means they don’t feel the need to entertain you. That there is no act to put on. Because they will be able to share the parts of themselves that are weird and sad, vulnerable and self-conscious because they won’t feel the need to be constantly uplifting around you. They will feel accepted for being nothing more than themselves.

So loving an extrovert means being their source of comfort, their refuge, their safe space. It means seeing them for everything that is underneath. Recognizing the façade they put on for the world as nothing more than a mask. Separating what is contrived from what is guarded and reserved.

So when an extrovert loves you, they will want to know and love it all. Your flaws, your kinks, your insecurities. They will want someone real and human, not someone artificial who fits a certain mold. An extrovert will have encountered a spectrum of personalities; they’ll want to be able to articulate exactly what makes yours special and unique.

So if you love an extrovert, and an extrovert loves you, you must know that they feel nothing but honored that you’ve chosen them out of all the rest. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Nicole Stawiarski

Chicago-based writer.