30 Millennial Instagram Accounts I Want To Create But Am Too Lazy To Manage

Matheus Ferrero

My life was changed recently when a friend sent me a link to “Hot Dudes Reading” and another friend sent me a link to Lorde’s onion ring account. Naturally, being a Millennial, I said to myself “I could totally do this, but better.” Here’s everything I came up with, but don’t have time to actually see through because I am also a Sagittarius. We are full of ideas that never really amount to anything…

1. Moderately Attractive Women Reading (While Crying) On Public Transportation

2. Millennials At Brunch Deciding How Much To Venmo Each Other

3. Girls Making Friends With Each Other While Waiting In Line For The Bathroom At The Bar

4. 26 Year-Olds Who Only Eat Food Typically Reserved For Children

5. Boxed Mac N’ Cheese, Prepared, And Their Definitive Rankings Against Each Other

6. Good Hair Days

7. Bad Hair Days

8. Severely Hung Over People Walking Into Work

9. Bad Insults Your Friends Make About People Who Were Mean To You In Order To Sound Supportive

10. Picture Of Pens, Paper, And Stationary For People Who Hate Technology But Love The Internet

11. Bad Make-outs At Bars

12. Good Make-outs At Bars You Stare At Just A Little Too Long And Then Suddenly Realize Your Mouth Is Open

13. Ariana Grande’s Ponytail With A Cartoon Face That Says Funny Things

14. I Photoshop Myself Into A Bunch Of HAIM Pictures And Pretend To Be Their Unknown Fourth Sister Who Is Too Cool For Fame Or Just Totally Horrible At Music

15. Kate Middleton Wearing Jeans

16. Evidence That Nicole Kidman Is A Real Life Benjamin Button And Just Getting Younger

17. Hot Uber Drivers

18. People Spilling Coffee On Themselves

19. Tourists Asking For Directions

20. World’s Worst Parking Jobs

21. People Putting On Makeup During Their Morning Commute

22. Children With Better Fashion Sense Than Me

23. All The Articles Of Clothing I Try On At Stores And Don’t End Up Buying Resulting In Absurd Amounts Of Folding For Retail Employees Of America

24. Messages I Sent From My Friend’s Bumble Account And How Men Responded

25. Inappropriate Faces I Make Because I Am Incapable Of Controlling My Reaction To Anything

26. Worst Compliments Of All Time

27. Decent Compliments That Were Poorly Executed

28. Best And Worst Of Uber Pool

29. People Falling On Ice

30. Millennials Taking Pictures Next To Expensive Cars, Boats, And Houses They Don’t Actually Own Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Chicago-based writer.

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