Female Comedy Superstars of Tomorrow: Top Ten Women Considering Doing Their First Open Mic

There’s a lot of great women in comedy these days, and literally every single one of them kicking ass and crushing it in a totally new legit crushing it sort of way.

Tina Fey. Amy Poehler. Amy Schumer. Lena Dunham. Judy Dench. Elizabeth Warren. The Brown M&M. It’s not hard to come up with a list of female comedians that I’ve heard of. And they’re all great. They’re better than men, even. But I’m not really concerned with female comedians I’ve heard of. What I’m concerned with is female comedians I _haven’t_ heard of… yet.

See the world is literally filled with great but unknown female comedians, and the only reason you haven’t heard of them is because of sexism. It’s definitely not because you don’t actually care about comedy or because they don’t have any real credits, and it certainly isn’t because every top ten comedy list gets its names from whoever phoned in the one before it. No, it’s because of sexism.

Not anymore though. Get ready for some list-based patriarchy smashing. Here’s a list that really digs deep. Here’s a group of women so obscure, so fresh, and so kickass original take-that-men good at comedy that they haven’t even started performing yet. Meet the future comedy stars of tomorrow!

1. Kayleigh Johnson

Meet Kayleigh. This twenty three year old isn’t just a set of amazing bangs and some seriously killer ukulele skills, she’s also one of the next comedy greats.
“I’m thinking about signing up for improv classes,” she says. “I’ve always sort of been the Tina Fey of my group of friends, ever since I started catching up on 30 rock four months ago.”

2. Rachel Goldman

Rachel Goldman isn’t your average girl. “I’m Jewish,” she tells you within thirty seconds of meeting her. “So you know what that means.” Everyone in the room laughs. Make sure to catch Rachel’s rise to fame when she graduates from Emerson later this year and uses her talent to land a job at her dad’s production company.

3. Lacey Wilson

In the 7 years she’s had a twitter account, Lacey has amassed a serious following of just under six thousand fans. “I never really thought of myself as a funny person,” she says. “But then I put a picture of my cleavage as my profile picture and just kept tweeting passive aggressive things about my coworkers and welp I guess I’m Amy Poehler now.” Haha. It’s true. She is.

4. Sara Chan

You might know Sara as the activist behind the #RobinWilliamsDeservedToDieForBeingWhite campaign, but you’re about to know her as a comedy superstar. “I’m also a comedian,” she says. “I define comedy the way I want. It doesn’t need to be on stage or on TV or what white men think is funny. As long as people pay me to tweet and use Tumblr, everything is what I say it is.”

5. Franda Frombo

“I’m sort of known as the office lesbian,” jokes Franda, and it’s not just because she’s the only lesbian in her office. Franda’s always employing her sense of humor to draw attention to the fact that she is a lesbian. She says it’s empowering. “There’s enough men doing comedy,” she jokes. “I see a man get on stage and I think, mmmm check please!”

6. Lisa Lombardodin

“Age is just a number,” says the weathered Lisa, speaking with a heavily affected north Jersey accent as she insists she’s 23 years old. And this oddly, thoroughly-experienced 23 year old sensation is taking the comedy world by storm. She’s been hanging out at some of the top clubs recently with some of the most successful comedians – making them take pictures with her and threatening to call their wives – and she already has a pretty successful career herself. At 23, she’s starred as an extra in major motion pictures such as The Happening, Titanic, and Time Cop.

7. Virja Rajamajararanaja

Virja is just my friend but she’s an Indian woman and she speaks well and I keep telling her that’s what’s hot right now. Comedy needs more Indian women that speak well.

8. Bess Width

“Just because I’m large doesn’t mean I don’t like to have sex,” jokes Beth. “Well, I do. I love to have sex. I’m sort of a sex master.” The 350lb self-described sex-nerd isn’t subscribing to societies rules for what’s sexy and what isn’t. She loves to have sex and she only shuts the fuck up about it when she’s eating. In fact, she’s so sex-positive that she doesn’t realize she’s literally fucked herself out of a personality.

9. Dixie Wilson

She’s just a good ole southern mom who likes making pies for her husband and kids, getting her hair done, and saying borderline racist things here and there. But that’s okay because this is America and her husband owns a car dealership so no one can get her fired for speaking her mind on Facebook.

10. Starla Trouble

Uh oh, get ready for trouble! Starla is a transwoman who spends all of her time recording unpleasant interactions on the train. That’s a type of comedy, right? Haha, who even cares! Comedy is about equal representation, and there’s nothing more equal than a transwoman who’s got a bone to pick with the establishment. Get on that stage girl, and show everyone what you’re really working with!