No, it’s not a new type of hot dog flavored ice cream, although that would be nice. It’s a test; the most important one you’ll ever take.
The Myers-Briggs personality test was developed by mother and daughter duo Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers, and like most things developed by mothers and their daughters, its a special type of thing that is part science, part magic, and all intuition. It’s the Wicca of psychology. It’s the healing crystals of personality tests. It’s the only thing that can really tell you who you are, how you should behave, and which Harry Potter character you are.
Unfortunately however, when the test was designed it didn’t include any information about how the test results would apply to real life situations. What does your type say about your favorite TV show? What does your type say about the type of music you like at a party?
But most important: what does your type say about how you like to have sex? Well; here’s the answer folks:
Ah yes, the ISTJ. Quiet individuals who like to keep their heads down and get work done. Makes sense that they would enjoy the most basic type of sex. All ISTJ’s can only have sex missionary style, and if they do it any other way, they won’t cum.
ISFJ) Doggy Style
ISFJ’s are conscious of their surroundings, which makes Doggy Style much easier for them than, let’s say an ESTP, who are scatterbrained and can’t focus well enough to help someone penetrate them from behind. ISFJ’s love it doggy style.
INFJ) Reverse Cowgirl
INFJ’s love to be in control, and naturally, they enjoy the power that comes with being on top and using their ass muscles to control how the dick goes into their pussy. This is deeply rooted in their psychology and it’s why they like to do reverse cowgirl.
The INTJ is the rarest personality type and less than .8% of women are INTJ’s. They think methodically and they like to control the penis, manipulating it with their hands and their mouth until it cums in their face. It makes sense that the rarest personality type is also the type men like the most – it’s because they love to give blowjobs.
ISTP) Standing Up
ISTP’s are very adventurous, and as such they tend to have sex in public places: at work or school, at the grocery store, or while waiting for their child to come out of the doctor’s office. Naturally as most of their sexual encounters are spontaneous acts outside with strangers, they tend to have sex standing up.
ISFP) Pussy Eating
ISFP’s don’t handle criticism well, and they often shut down when confronted with hit. During normal sex they stress out about whether or not they are doing sex right, and they can’t cum. That’s why they love to have their pussies eaten, because they don’t have to do anything and there’s less responsibility.
INFP) Titty Fucking
INFP’s are truly the most generous, and they see the best in people. That’s why they do the most generous type of sex – titty fucking. Even more generous than the blow job because the recipient doensn’t even get to taste the dick, they let their partners titty fuck them and they get no physical pleasure out of it, but emotional pleasure from knowing someone will cum in their face from their huge tits.
INTP’s are thinkers. They are often lost deep in thought, solving some kind of incredibly complex internal puzzle. As such, they carry a lot of stress, and while they are thinking so deeply about things, they like to have someone lick on their asshole to calm them down.
If there’s one thing that’s true about ESTP’s, it’s that they like to be pinned to the floor upside down while someone fucks them like a wheelbarrow. ESTP’s can’t sit still, so during sex they need to be put in such a dominating position that they have no choice but to get fucked upside down in a bathroom.
ESFP’s like to show off, and what better way to show off than shoving an entire adult male fist into your vagina. This plays in well with their accepting nature, and ESFP’s love to welcome someone’s first into their body like it was a huge dick.
ENFP) Double Fisting
ENFP’s are desperate to please, and for that reason they’re always looking to out-do everyone. They might not enjoy having two fists inside of their pussies, but they will definitely do it just to show everyone that it’s possible.
ENTP) Double Fisting Plus a Foot In The Pussy As Well
ENTP’s think big. They see people like the ENFP and they think, that’s just two fists, what if people had more? That’s when it hit’s them: shove your foot in my pussy as well. ENTP’s are true visionaries: think Elon Musk; now imagine him shoving a bunch of arms and legs in his pussy. That’s them.
ESTJ) Freezing A Turd And Fucking The Girl With It
ESTJ’s are usually upstanding folks. They keep their house in order, go to church, and they help out in the community. Which means you know they are hiding something. Something incredibly fucked up. And that something is that during sex they like to freeze a turd and then use the turd as a dildo to fuck the girl.
ESFJ) Pulling The Uterus Out Of The Pussy And Using It Like A Dick To Fuck The Man In The Ass
It’s called a pink sock and it happens by accident sometimes, but basically the vagina loses its elasticity and the cervix falls completely out of the woman’s body. Then the man bends over and the cervix is held tight around the base by the woman, and she puts it into his ass like it was a dick. ESFJ’s do this because they like to respect authority.
ENFJ) Woman Has Diarrhea Into Man’s Mouth, He Snowballs It Into Her Mouth, Then She Throws Up Her Own Shit Into Her Pussy, and Then She Pussy-Shits It Into His Ass
ENFJ’s love to give, and just putting their cervix into a man’s ass isn’t enough. They like to be as intimate as possible, and the only way to do that is with the Chocolate Waterfountain, described here, in which she has diarrhea into the man’s mouth, he spits it into hers, then she throws it up into her own pussy, and then squeezes it out of her pussy into the man’s ass.
ENTJ’s keep things simple and they like to just kiss and hold hands. Unless of course they’re dating an IFNJ, in which their personalities match up in a wake that makes them dress up like dogs or dragons or some kind of animal and fuck each other while wearing the costumes.