Did Louis CK Rape And Murder Jon-Benet Ramsey?

It certainly sounds like he did.

Recently, on her podcast, Jen Kirkman said that a male comedian – a SUCCESSFUL male comedian, mind you – sexually assaulted her in the past and cheated on his wife. She wouldn’t name the comedian, but with some smart thinking and detective work by the good folks over at The Frisky, it’s been discovered that the comedian in question is (most likely) Louis CK.

While we can’t say for certain that Louis CK is the mystery rapist, we can put a question mark at the end and wash our hands of responsibility if we’re wrong. But questions lead to more questions, and an even bigger question here is: did Louis CK rape and murder Jon Benet Ramsey? We can’t say for certain, but yes. Yes he did.

Let’s look at the run-down:

– In 2012 Gawker published an article saying that a famous comedian like to jerk off in front of women
– A couple of weeks ago, an anonymous tipster said that Louis CK rapes women, complete with proof of Louis CK’s name on an email body
– Cosby turned out to be a rapist, which means that other comedians probably are
– Louis CK is a famous comedian, just like the one Kirkman mentioned
– In 1996 Jon Benet Ramsey went missing
– Louis CK was doing comedy in 1996
– Louis CK raped and murdered Jon Benet Ramsey

While it goes without saying that this is all speculation, keep in mind that most crimes must be solved with a certain degree of speculation. As Jordan Frieman of Death & Taxes notes, “Where there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.”

And there’s certainly a whole hell of a lot of smoke surrounding the Jon Benet Ramsey case, considering she was murdered after all. That’s a pretty smoky situation if you ask me. I just thought of something else, too: Louis CK has red hair: the same color as fire. Coincidence? Or hard evidence of culpability? You be the judge.

Here’s another thing that’s interesting: in regards to the comedian’s fame, Kirkman said on her podcast that, “He is lauded as a genius. He is basically a French filmmaker at this point.”

Hmm, French film you say? Ever notice how Jon-Benet is a French name? Perhaps what Kirkman meant was that the rapist comedian was also the man who murdered Jon Benet Ramsey. Perhaps Louis CK is our perp.

The problem here is that Louis CK is too powerful for anyone to come forward with real evidence. Obviously such a powerful man could really hurt anyone who outright accused him of murdering Jon Benet Ramsey, and until someone has the brave courage to step forward and present real evidence or at least make a firm, unequivocal accusation, he will continue raping and murdering other Jon Benet Ramseys. Until then, all we’re left with his highly charged shoulder shrugs and suggestive blogging. Until we have some evidence, all we can do is half-heartedly accuse him of things.

So while we can’t say for certain that Louis CK raped and murdered Jon-Benet Ramsey, we can say that he probably did, and that’s as close to the truth as we need to get. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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