As I’m sure you’re all aware by now, that Indiana pizzeria that refused to make gay pizza opened a GoFundMe account and in 18 days raised a total of 842,000 dollars. That’s almost a million dollars donated by people who support the right of a business owner to stand up to the limp and soft fist of the Gay Mafia. To give you some perspective, it’s the second most successful GoFundMe project of all time, and everything else on the top ten list is either a Boston bombing victim or a child that invented some kind of new, horrific disease with their problematic little bodies. 840 thousand dollars. All because they publically stated that they wouldn’t serve gay people.
Now, I don’t really have too much of a problem with that. I’m jealous, sure, but I’m not mad. It’s a free market, and if the free market determines that it’s profitable to be homophobic, then obviously it must be good to be homophobic. Especially if your principle business has gone under and the only thing you’re actually “selling” anymore is your homophobic Christianity itself. If that pizza restaurant has found a way to profit off their bigotry, it means that bigotry is actually good. Markets are always good at figuring out moral issues like that. They helped end slavery and they created the civil rights movement. God bless markets, and God bless the endless wealth created by Christian bigotry.
But as a witness to this whole ordeal I remain miffed. Because as I usually do whenever I read a story about a distant injustice, I feel like someone owes me something. I feel like I should also receive money for nothing. Unfortunately, I’m not a Christian business. And because of that, I’m discriminated against by the generous bigot community.
I also hate gay people, guys. Where’s my GoFundMe page? Where’s my million dollars? Oh that’s right, it’s at Church. It’s sitting in the pockets of people who hate gays because a book tells them to – not because they had a bad experience at a hair salon one time. It’s been greedily kept by those that judge me for my lifestyle of hating gays without the help of God.
Frankly, I’m disturbed that we live in a world where you have to be Christian to get money for hating gay people. It’s 2015 for Christ’s sake. Every homophobic business deserves to be supported by bigots, regardless of their religious affiliation.
The bottom line that as bigots, we all have something in common, and you shouldn’t let your faith get in the way of donating to me because I also hate the people that you hate but for different reasons.
If you’re a Christian, your faith instructs you to show love to ALL of God’s children, not just the ones that happen to share your beliefs. Just because a homophobe doesn’t read the bible, it doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve your money. Thanks and you can paypal me at Nicole_rules69@russia.virus