Good News, Idiots. Official Nicole Mullen Merchandise Up For Auction

Hold your seats, ladies and squirms, due to an extended suspension from my day job, I’m selling off some official Nicole Mullen memorabilia.

Available now, and only here, is a one-of-a-kind Thought Catalog tote bag signed by ME, Nicole Mullen, the best and most popular author on thought catalog

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Autographed-Nicole-Mullen-Thought-Catalog-Tote-Bag-/301515415004

Unfortunately eBay wouldn’t let me start the bidding at a million dollars, but that’s what I’m shooting for here, and it’ll probably get up there fairly quickly, so if you’re going to bid, make sure you come in shooting.

Think about how fucking cool you’ll look walking into a coffee shop, ordering a latte, and pulling your MacBook air out of a Thought Catalog tote bag with my big ass fucking tight name on it. Think about how many people will be in envy of you. They’ll wonder what you could possibly be typing on your fancy expensive laptop. Is it a letter to me? Are you friends with me? Do they think were friends? Yeah. I fucking bet they think we’re friends.

Now of course I’m not actually going to be friends with you, but people wil think that I am, and that’s what you’re buying here. You’re buying a line a credit at the bank of cool. You’re associating yourself with the best. Me – the best one.

Get it while it’s hot folks; auction ends in a week. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

1

3

2

Related

More From Thought Catalog