10 Best Things To Say On The Subway

1) “nut cancers the bad cancer. you get that one from jerking off too much. the prostate one is less bad but you get it cause you didn’t jerk off enough”

2) “i mean id do a black chick but only if she had a white name”

3) “why didn’t they make two freedom towers? one seems like a bitch move”

4) “yea remember that chink robot Assmo or whatever? they ever teach that thing to suck dick? don’t get me wrong im not gay or nothing, im just sayin, it would feel good is all”

5) “I got something for diblasio right here” *grab your crotch* “what time is it anyway?” *grab crotch again*

6) “some people say may-rio, other people say mah-rio. Either way, it’s about ethics in gaming journalism.”

7) “my daughters one of those lesbians everyones talkin about. I thought that was just a pornography thing but she got mad when I asked her if people were gonna be jacking off to her.”

8) “yea they all say gentrification is a bad thing until all that pumpkin spice shit starts comin out. The kids love the pumpkin spice. My son went to jail for it.”

9) “I rememeber when the six train used to go all the way to Jersey. Used to be you could get on the train, fuck a whore in Hoboken, be back in bed in Canarsie by 5 pm, all for a buck. Now you gotta take two trains.”

10) “If you shit your pants, everyone lets you have the train to yourself. They don’t tell ya that, but it’s true. I’ve tried it other places like at the movies and stuff, doesn’t work.” Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Nicolas Alejandro

Just a fun mom and a teacher at a retarded school. I like recipes and my kids.

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