10 Best Things To Say On The Subway

1) “nut cancers the bad cancer. you get that one from jerking off too much. the prostate one is less bad but you get it cause you didn’t jerk off enough”

2) “i mean id do a black chick but only if she had a white name”

3) “why didn’t they make two freedom towers? one seems like a bitch move”

4) “yea remember that chink robot Assmo or whatever? they ever teach that thing to suck dick? don’t get me wrong im not gay or nothing, im just sayin, it would feel good is all”

5) “I got something for diblasio right hereโ€ *grab your crotch* โ€œwhat time is it anyway?โ€ *grab crotch again*

6) “some people say may-rio, other people say mah-rio. Either way, itโ€™s about ethics in gaming journalism.โ€

7) โ€œmy daughters one of those lesbians everyones talkin about. I thought that was just a pornography thing but she got mad when I asked her if people were gonna be jacking off to her.โ€

8) โ€œyea they all say gentrification is a bad thing until all that pumpkin spice shit starts comin out. The kids love the pumpkin spice. My son went to jail for it.โ€

9) โ€œI rememeber when the six train used to go all the way to Jersey. Used to be you could get on the train, fuck a whore in Hoboken, be back in bed in Canarsie by 5 pm, all for a buck. Now you gotta take two trains.โ€

10) โ€œIf you shit your pants, everyone lets you have the train to yourself. They donโ€™t tell ya that, but itโ€™s true. Iโ€™ve tried it other places like at the movies and stuff, doesnโ€™t work.โ€ TC mark

image – Nicolas Alejandro

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