Well this has been a bad month for the United States. Not only did we find out that racism is real, we found out that rape isn’t, and like moldy-cum icing on the loose-shit cake: the Senate released a 6000 page report detailing the CIA’s controversial detainee program and its questionable efficacy. According to findings, not only did we do a bunch of fucked up shit to prisoners bering held without trial, the information extracted from “advanced interrogation techniques” (read: torture) might not have produced any actionable information. The only thing worse than torturing someone for a bad reason is torturing someone for no reason, and currently, mainstream left-right debate concerns which one we’re predominantly guilty of.
A 6000 page report is a lot to read, especially in these days when one would be more comfortable looking at memes and consuming terse doses of statuses and tweets rather than finishing a book in an afternoon, so naturally it’ll take a while before the media is able to extract all the juicy bits. But the torture methods enumerated in the report range from the depressingly familiar (water boarding, sleep-deprivation) to the horrifyingly bizarre (forced rectal feeding, making prisoners stand on broken limbs). And while the most physically repulsive methods are receiving a massive amount of coverage right now, it seems almost everyone missed this section:
“On July 18, July 21, and July 30, prisoners Al-Sheihk Mujad Jumanji and Al-Pastor Itadoodoo were subjected to repeated sessions of Brian Gaar’s tweets. Subjects were handcuffed to the floor of a cell, and Brian Gaar’s tweets were fed through a text to speech program in both English and Arabic and announced over a closed sound system. Both men were being held without formal charges. One died in the process…”
“…a mentally challenged man, a cousin of a suspected Al Qaeda courier, was subjected to Brian Gaars tweets while the suspected courier looked on. This however was halted when the mentally challenged man was delighted with Brian’s tweets, saying they were good, and that he could relate to them.”
This is despicable.
This is torture.
But Americans need to know this. They need to know the evils that we are committing. They need to know that if they don’t speak out against torture and Brian Gaar, they’re complicit in that evil. Now, a warning here is more than apt. Presented below are the tweets the CIA read to prisoners, uncensored. Be warned that these tweets may be triggering for those that have been exposed to bad tweets in the past. Here is the full list:
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) November 14, 2012
WHO LET THE OWLS OUT?? DON’T SING THE CHORUS YOU’LL MAKE IT WORSE
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) July 12, 2013
If two people are arguing and one person says, "You know what…" that argument is about to get awesome.
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 25, 2011
Sometimes I'm playing a dangerous game like Halo & people ask if I get scared but honestly no, your training just takes over
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 6, 2013
Under pressure, Air Bud's math teacher changes grade from "he's a dog" to a 70
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 28, 2013
Girl are you the Iraq invasion because this was a mistake
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) March 20, 2013