Yesterday, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and the rest of the Spanish celebrity community (Antonio Benderas, Cesar Romero, and uh… The Taco Bell Dog) spoke out in opposition of Israel. Describing the current conflict in Gaza as ‘genocide,’ Bardem and his compatriots set out to make a statement that there really is No Country For Old Jews. You guys like that one? That was a good one.
Honestly, their actions are despicable. Not only is Israel the only western ally in the Middle East – not only is Hamas a terrorist organization that uses children as human shields – but beyond that, everyone knows that the only reason this war is happening in the first place is because Israel and Hamas were under the impression that the celebs thought they were cool for killing each other.
“Israel has a right to defend itself,” insisted PM Netanyahu, “also I’m doing it to impress Jodi Foster.”
When celebs like Bardem speak out against international atrocities, people stop thinking it’s cool to die and go to war, and the conflicts are suddenly resolved. It is highly irresponsible for Bardem to make such disgusting anti-semitic like this and make Israel look incredibly un-cool to the people in power that respect the bad guy from Skyfall’s opinion.
That’s why I’m taking a public stand – right now, in an outspoken screed against Javier Bardem, in defense of my acting career. I mean Israel.
I want the world to know that internationally respected queen, queen of all the western lands, ruler before God, God before people, and Journalissimo for life, Nicole Mullen, stands in full support of Israel, in opposition to the actors of Spain and with her acting resume in hand.
I want the world to know who I am. Fun mom, teacher at retarded school…. Actress. The triple threat. Basically every Hollywood agent’s wet dream. Also every regular man’s wet dream as well. But more importantly, a friend to the state of Israel and an enemy of the swarthy bastards of Spanish Hollywood.
I’ve attached my headshot and my contact information; if anyone wants to put me in contact with their agent that would be great. I do full frontal and I’m not opposed to pornography, whatever it takes to get my foot in the door. Whatever it takes to be the celeb that says the RIGHT opinions about things, I’m willing to do it.