He could never say “I love you” without stuttering but could always say “I want you back” in one fluid motion.
There were never enough words to describe how we felt in the beginning. A relationship that took years to define- filled with promises of “one day” and “lets not ruin this” – finally came to be. Though it soon became apparent, that after years of using words to chase and hook each other, I needed something more to rely on. But he never expected to catch me and “undefined” was the only us he knew.
So he left, for someone who wrapped her legs around every word that came her way, leaving me cast back out, only to later be hooked again
“You’re unlike any other girl I’ve ever been with.”
“You make me want to be a better me”
“When I look at you I see my future”
Still, he persisted:
“I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said, to prove I’d never hurt you again.”
But he once again did more saying than proving and that’s when I learned a valuable lesson.
In an era of texts, tweets and status updates, we are drowning in words, crafted to depict the best versions of ourselves.
In their overuse, they’ve lost the weight they once had, leaving us with the well known lesson that actions do in fact speak louder.
Words are a tricky beast that are difficult to overcome, haunting you with their ability to overshadow and erase bad memories. Forget that he let you down again, a few sweet lines of “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking” and suddenly the blow is cushioned.
The problem with words, even the most thoughtful and well written ones, is that when they’re unaccompanied by gestures, they begin to lose their meaning. You can’t depend on words alone. Women especially tend to get so wrapped up in the relationship and so hung up on words and their alleged hidden meaning, that we tend to ignore the obvious.
If everything they say goes against everything they do, they don’t really mean what they’re saying.
This is not a relationship and this certainly isn’t love. Love presents itself in actions long after the words have run their course. It’s found in the little things – being there when they say they will, offering unsolicited help, remembering the small details that bring joy to your life. Through it all, your happiness should be theirs and if they’re only throwing words at you to supplement for the physicality of what you need, than this is not the person for you.
Empty words inevitably lead to broken promises and without trust in the person you’re with, how do you carry on? You deserve to be with someone who will be there when they say they will and can fulfill the promises they made, without much force or effort.
At the end of the day all we need is someone we can rely on.
Someone whose words carry weight in their meaning, made true by their willingness to follow through with them.
In the beginning words are all you have, but as your relationship progresses, many conversations will become routine, all the stories will be told and you’ll need those sweet gestures more than ever. If these aren’t found in the early stages, they definitely will not appear later on. Be mindful of the one who is true to their word, surprises you for the sake of a smile, and goes out of there way to show you how much you mean to them. This is the one for you.