Important Things To Forget

Forget how his eyes looked when he was trying so valiantly to tell you how sorry he was. Forget how deep it seemed that cold rainy night and how the pain reflected in his eyes was enough to make you stumble forward and hug him like it was the first time. You gave your all to that hug, wrapped your arms around his body and buried your head into his arms. Forget how you wanted to stay there forever and just skip the talking. Forget how you pulled away and looked into his eyes so you can tell him that you still don’t believe him.

Forget how the sides of his mouth turn up and how his hands reach out to touch any part of you every time you see each other. Forget the feeling of ‘being found,’ do not even feel that way again for anyone. 

Forget that one boring afternoon when you suddenly convinced him to shoot music videos. He was the star of everything. He was too good in your eyes that you even included the crappy shots. Do not even watch it for one last time. Delete all the memories to forget. Delete the music. Delete the place. Delete the person from your hard drive. Fill them with someone else right then and there. Remark at how easy it was. 

Forget his gift for your 18th birthday. Forget his efforts for you. Dispose of all his gifts, those things that he bought for you because you both know it would be funny. Laugh because you can’t find it anywhere. Not in your room, not around the house, not in your bag. Hate his letters but don’t throw them away yet. Convince yourself to not believe in those kinds of lies and read them anytime someone tells you those things again. Do not ever forget these lies.

Forget the time he cried one night because he was telling you something about his mother. Forget his secrets, his quirks, the things that he claims he had only said to you. Share them with someone unrelated to him. Someone who doesn’t really know him. Transfer the burden of the only person knowing those things right at the moment. Assure yourself he’s going to tell them to someone else sooner or later. Cherish the idea of having a social side wherein no one knows he exists. Find time to be with them as much as possible.

Forget who he is. Remember to forget. Remember how he walks, the color of his skin, the curve of his neck, the shape of his lips, and find it in the strangers you meet day after day. Find him in other people and think how truly ordinary he is because you see him so much in other people. People you don’t even know. People you know. Fight the nostalgia. Be in understated comfort knowing he wasn’t really special to begin with.

And lastly, forget yourself. Forget who you are when you are with him. Forget the unwilling relationship he had imposed on you, leave all the traces of his negativity behind you. Forget how happy he made you feel, likewise remember how stupid you felt when you believed him. Forget being forgiving, how he was the only person to have broken your trust more than enough times and yet, stick to him undeservingly so. Forget being noble, for sticking to a person who doesn’t deserve you. For thinking that maybe you both could do good in each other’s lives. Forget being idealistic, how he managed to corrupt your mind that something can overcome all trivialities: something called love (platonic or otherwise). Forget being mad and mean, a consequence of being in a place wrought out of lies.

Forget who you are when you are with him and find yourself in a place rid of any trace of him. Forget everything and start in a better place. TC mark

image – Maresol

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  • Celine

    This is gorgeous. I see so much of how I recovered from my last relationship in this.

  • Darlene

    Sometimes, we really just have to forget the things that we used to believe in order to move on. Thanks for this!

  • http://twitter.com/MariellaSalazar Mariella Salazar

    Thank you, I needed this.
    A year has gone by, but it’s still hard not to worry that it will all crumble again.

  • 100%pinoy

    proud to be pinoy! lels

    • Pinay

      OMG Tito, stop trolling thanks.

      • 100%pinoy

         guys if you wanna read more about her post. pm me.

  • http://twitter.com/graceyco Grace Co

    So much truth in this.  Thank You. 

  • Gszewcow

    every feeling in this article is so eerily familiar, i feel like i wrote it myself. but you probably did a better job than i could have done. great job!

  • TCTROLL

    This. I needed this. Great job! Wish there are more Filipino writers on TC!

  • Michaelwg

    This makes me want to stay single. Relationships are horrific.

    • Anonymous

      amen

  • hm

    Ouch, this hurt. In the best way possible.

  • Therese_yee

    I love this article. It is more beautiful because I know the truth in every line. 

    -Teewhy

  • Relating

    Wow. That was powerful.

  • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

    Saving this for future reference when I need to be reminded to let go. Beautifully written. 

  • Anonymous

    WOw. This is EXACTLY how my last relationship went. Thank you for this… Amazing. 

  • http://twitter.com/marisasaystweet MarisaSays

    Like my man Pablo Neruda says, “Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”  

  • Amariesoccer

    Awesome, just so beautifully written.  It’s like Adele, but for my eyes to read instead of my ears to listen!  Loved it.

  • Guest

    It’s like you’ve captured and articulated (much better than I ever could) exactly how I feel. To me, the best part is the last two paragraphs, especially: “Forget how happy he made you feel, likewise remember how stupid you felt when you believed him. Forget being forgiving, how he was the only person to have broken your trust more than enough times and yet, stick to him undeservingly so. Forget being noble, for sticking to a person who doesn’t deserve you.” And finally: “Forget everything and start in a better place.”

    In my experience it seems that, once you have enough distance from things, the realization that much of what you experienced was little more than a mirage, it’s much (much) easier to move on and be happy, perhaps even happier than you’ve ever been. It’s hard (nay, probably impossible) for anything to live up to the idealized fairytale we often paint in our minds of what we once had. Once you realize the reality was in fact something much less than ideal it becomes easy to open yourself up to new experiences that promise to be much more fulfilling.

  • Svenry

    I cried.

  • appl3

    wow! Amazing! Much needed!

  • Sophia

    This is so visceral and real. I cried.

    • stalker

      Why are you in every post?

      • Sophia

        Because ThoughtCatalog is my favorite way to procrastinate. Why do you care?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1271070228 Megan Nicole

    “Forget the feeling of ‘being found,’ do not even feel that way again for anyone. ” 
    That line. Need to keep telling myself that, and the last paragraph too…

  • Peeved

    This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I have ever had the misfortune to read. Have you ever heard of a cliche ? This article is composed entirely of cliches.

    • LELS

      But the thing is, Life is a big fucking cliche.

  • http://twitter.com/coolcubes Girly Girl

    I really needed to read this. It captures all my feelings so well. Thank you. I have tears in my eyes because I can relate to this so much… I needed those words. Beautiful!

  • kay

    Shit. This hit home.

    “Forget everything and start in a better place.” I’m moving across the country next month. Looking forward to forgetting. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/umaly Boo Umaly

    “Hate his letters but don’t throw them away yet. Convince yourself to not believe in those kinds of lies and read them anytime someone tells you those things again. Do not ever forget these lies.” — this. we exchanged over 350 letters over 4 years.

    great first article. if i someday run into you on the streets of Manila I will give you a big hug. 

  • Cara

    Thank you for writing this. Thank you thank you thank you

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