The Things We Search For In Our 20s, And What We Actually Find

Everyone enters their twenties searching for something: a career, financial stability, stability in general, love, friendship whatever it may be… we’re searching for something.

We wake up in the morning (even if it’s more like a nap from the night before) fully charged. We are ready to take on our day. We know how to make the most of our days, also. We brunch in the morning and by night are in the libraries working on our midterms. We’re lost but we’re still going. We feel everything entirely too much. And when we “can’t even” we find our friends.

Some people look for a great love in their twenties. Some people find their future husband or wife. Others find their tribe. Your twenties tribe is a rite of passage. These are the friends you will probably have for the rest of your life. Some will be old friends who mesh into your new friends so well you’ll question how you didn’t all grow up together. These are the friends who do grown up things with you whether it be drive an hour to attend a funeral or sit with you as you plan your wedding. But, these friends will also get very drunk with you after a horrible week of interning, working, doing homework or whatever else you’re dealing with.

Some people focus on their career in their twenties. They bypass others their age because their eyes are so much on the prize if they looked anywhere else their vision would be blurry.
Also, you get very lost in your twenties. Which is really, really normal. It’s okay to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. But when it gets too overwhelming, talk to someone. A counselor, life coach, priest, Rabi, whatever you need. Find your life boat before you swim too far out. Your twenties are messy. You get embarrassed, stressed, and sometimes you feel like you’re an infant.

You also learn a lot of useful information in your twenties. You learn not everything happens for a reason. You learn to not make the same mistake twice, because after two times you’re doing that thing for a reason. You learn there is good and bad attention. That playing games that deal with others feelings are childish. It’s okay to break down, life’s hard – some days your emotions are going to catch up to you running that 5K of not feeling. If you deleted them from your life, delete them from your phone. trust me. Also, don’t talk about other people in bed, and don’t sleep with new people in an old bed. Most importantly be your own friend. Root for yourself every once and a while.

But I think the best thing we find as we’re searching out there in our twenties is our self. You’re going to find yourself in your twenties. And what’s amazing about that is – you’re only in your twenties! You have time to change what you don’t like. So hold on and enjoy your twenties because we’re just starting who we are.