This Is What I've Learned After Being Single For Five Years

This Is What I’ve Learned After Being Single For Five Years

I know who you are, you’re the girl who’s sitting on her bed right now probably thinking how you’re going to be alone forever. You’re the lady who’d rather look away when you see cute couples shopping for the holidays, and you’re the woman who’d rather be working to keep herself busy than spend time alone in her apartment or go on countless dates that weren’t going to work out anyway.

Being single for five years was not the easiest of journeys I’ve trekked throughout my life. I remember my days were an interesting mix of tears, on again off again loneliness, deep soul searching, and countless epiphany-like moments. At first, I dreaded my single life. I hated how I was all alone with no one by my side, it got too depressing to think about. I hated how I felt so broken and didn’t know what to do about it; I hated that I felt helpless and weak.

It wasn’t until a year later, I started to realize that I didn’t have to surround myself with that type of atmosphere I thought being single needed. So one day, I decided I couldn’t just wake up to cry my eyes out anymore, I had to do something about it. I couldn’t feel sorry for myself no more than feeling at peace with my emotions. I couldn’t continue living, like this.

I started to travel, visiting places like New York and Japan. I started taking care of myself more, working out four times a week and drinking nothing but water. And I started reading, a lot of poetry that related to the broken heart I possessed and the various methods of putting it back together. I started to thrive in areas of my life I never thought I’d be shining in, talking to all kinds of people I didn’t think I would ever get along with, and expressing the most human emotions that brought nothing but serenity and love to my life.

My single life taught me to value solitude. I used to hate the silence, it always made me feel uncomfortable. I used to hate alone time, it made me feel like I was missing out. Being single for a long time taught me to see the things that made me feel uneasy through a different light. It made me see how the things that made me uncomfortable, were exactly the experiences I needed in order to change my life for the better.

Its taught me the importance of gratitude, letting go of I’ve lost, and embracing the heck of what I have left. I got closer to my spirituality, to my family and friends, developed a humanitarian-like mentality, and have completely grown up ever since. For five years, I have grown into a woman who speaks up when a situation arises, someone who relentlessly believes in the greatest qualities in herself, and a strong spirit and soul who isn’t afraid of the next set of obstacles life will be throwing her way.

Being single for five years ultimately led me to the relationship I have now. I have honestly never experienced a connection like it before. Regardless of our differences, the way we can both resolve conflict so intellectually proper still fathoms me to this day. He’s everything I’ve hoped for, wanted, and prayed for. He is one the biggest reasons why being single for a long time was worth it. Everything I have learned about myself through my season of being alone was exactly the blueprint I needed in my current relationship when it came to resolving arguments, picking battles wisely, and loving each other hard to the point of letting go of what was bothering us before.

Being single for five years has taught me to believe in the truest beauty in myself, to cherish every moment as if it was a memory re-lived, to feel the love in growth, the healing power through an open mind, and utter peace once you completely accept the present moment you are in. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Digital writer of websites and magazines

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