Goodbye to the year where a first kiss was not underneath the stars or the rain but in his car, close to midnight, after his shift was over, sipping on tea and coffee, and him wanting to make out. Goodbye to the year where he left mid-conversation to be with another girl finding out later that being a second choice stung. Goodbye to the year of being told that they weren’t ready for a relationship like a broken record of no tomorrow. Goodbye to disappointments.
Goodbye to the year dealing with the ones who didn’t know how to voice their opinion or know how to simply say, “Hey, I did not appreciate how you treated me yesterday, that is why I do not feel like talking to you today.” Or, “Sorry, I don’t feel like talking right now, I had a bad day, I will talk to you when I finish cooling down.” Goodbye to the trust issues that kept making you think he was talking to other girls. Goodbye to the jealousy that consumed you whenever you felt not good enough.
Goodbye to the time he blocked you on Instagram only to find out that was his way of breaking up with you. Goodbye to the times he would consistently come back because he missed you and he would be so sorry for what he did. Goodbye to the time he made out with one of your friends in front of you. Goodbye to all the emotions that were kept for a while because it was hard to forgive something like that. Goodbye to the dumb advice that he always gave about how you should keep talking to other guys even though he knew you really liked him. Goodbye to letting him control you for way too long.
Goodbye to the numerous times you thought you were in love. Goodbye to the constant bragging to your friends about the “new guy in your life” and not realizing privacy in a relationship is important too. Goodbye to the times when you’d be the only one spending money and never getting even a cent contribution from his side at all.
Goodbye to his stupid rules of not getting too attached. Goodbye to believing if you did, he would start ranting about how being attached gets you hurt faster. Goodbye to why that was the reason you would be scared to express how you really feel.
Goodbye to almost giving up on love. Goodbye to retreating to your room every time you wanted to cry. Goodbye to bitterness. Goodbye to giving into negative opinions. Goodbye to rushed mindsets. Goodbye to fear.
Hello to love.