An Open Letter To A Narcissist From A Struggling Empath

I cannot do this anymore. Actually, I can, but I feel like you are not worth it anymore. We are obviously not looking for the same thing. There is nothing wrong with that; what’s wrong is continuing whatever this is with two completely different mindsets. 

It hurts me that you are still on the prowl, so to speak, but I am trying to understand where you are coming from, and I actually don’t really blame you. Honestly, I blame myself more, for allowing myself to fall and hope for a relationship, which, in hindsight, has quite a high mortality rate (especially if only one person is willing to work for it).

I like how I am when I’m in our little universe. You have inspired me to become the best version of myself; someone kinder, and more understanding. I’ve taken better care of my physical and mental health (for the most part) ever since we met. But then I realized, I’m only forced to become the best version of myself by absorbing the negativity you have given me. The manipulation, the lip service, the false promises. And while I am outwardly becoming stronger and more confident, the effects of your treatment gnaw their way into my self-esteem, and I am afraid that it will soon overpower me.

You told me I was lonely because I preferred my own company, but if what you have shown me is the company I will get, I would choose to be alone a thousand times. Also, you have made me realize I am not lonely. After you made me feel that way, support came pouring in for me. I feel silly now for feeling like I couldn’t exist properly without you.

So, thank you. I don’t know if I should call it ‘letting you go’ or ‘giving you up,’ because you were never mine in the first place. My only hope is that you find peace in your lost soul, and I’m only sorry I couldn’t be the one to give it to you.