Coming from someone who hasn’t been in many relationships, I haven’t had a lot of experience in this field. While being single, like many other girls, I had a whole list of things I wanted my future man to have and be.
I hoped for a guy who was tall and charming, like one that jumped straight out of my favourite movie or drama; always envying the female lead for having a flawless guy sweep her of her feet. But constantly comforted myself saying that one day I’d have guy all girls envied and all I had to do was just wait for that prince charming on his white horse. Unrealistic, but hey, I’d say I’m not the only one who once had a dream like that.
Along the way, I definitely came across a few who I thought could’ve been “THE ONE”, having physical features I looked for in my future man; a defined jaw line, beautiful eyes, a smile that’d give me butterflies.
But unfortunately they never really worked out, despite their looks, most of them were over confident and obnoxious jerks who knew they had the looks. But being oblivious, I came across a situation where I never gave up on one of them. A little crush, became my first love even without being in a relationship; he was my best friend whom was more than just a friend to me while I was just that kid sister he’d tease around with.
Moments passed, and chapters were closed with new ones opened. Slowly but thankfully, as I grew up, I left all the bad moments, embarrassing ones (you know the ones with photos you wished you could burn and erase from existence), the tears and friendships I felt weren’t worth keeping. Now having just arrived at adult hood, I’ve found my first relationship. Not one of those I’d call “just dating”, but one that I’ve decided I want to keep in my life. Having been in that relationship for almost 2 years and counting, I think it’s time to admit that my goals were unrealistic and naive.
But I wouldn’t want anyone else but him. I learned that happiness in a relationship doesn’t come from the materialistic thing; it doesn’t come from how much he spent on you but how much effort he put in to give you the best. It isn’t about how others envy your relationship, but instead it’s about how happy he makes you feel. It definitely isn’t about how good looking he is either, but maybe how hard he tries to look his best just for you.
Being with him isn’t at all what I thought a relationship would be like; where everything would just be a stroll in the park. We’ve definitely had our difficult moments, but that made us stronger and it made me love him more.
So here comes my advice to all those who’re still looking for that prince charming with that white horse and that beautiful castle. The perfect prince charming might not always be the first pick with all the riches in the world. Instead sometimes the ones that can give you everything, can also make you the most unhappy.
Find the one who easily makes you smile, who makes you feel beautiful even when you aren’t dressed up or covered in make up. He might not be the fittest or the strongest one around, but his hugs are enough to make you feel safe and secure. It won’t be like one of those fairytales; the prince saves the damsel in distress, falling in love they live happily ever after.
Instead, it’ll be one of those things where you’d realise along the way the both start planning and joke about how’d you’ll wake each other up each morning as husband and wife, or what you’d name your kids or who’s gonna be the one cooking dinner every night; it may feel scary but that’s because it will feel real. The relationship won’t always be red roses and ice cream cakes, but hey everything has it’s problems. It the effort the both put in to remove those throne from the rose and to keep the ice cream from melting.
I don’t know how far this will take us, and life does have its surprises whether we like it or not. But even if we both part our ways somewhere in the future, I’d have no regrets for the time spent together. Because this is the one person I’ve created such a chapter of my life with. Someone who’ll never be classified as a mistake. The first person who let me be myself and who loved me so much for that. The first one who made me feel like I was worth it; enough to give me all his effort to do whatever he could to make me the happiest. And someone I hope never leaves my life.