11. The Happening

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCyLcrYDAgQ&w=584&h=390]

Even though his scripts vary wildly in quality, there was a time in which M. Night Shyamalan used to do terrific work with actors, getting to date the only good performance out of Bryce Dallas Howard. She’s so stunning in the village that you sometimes forget how bad the movie around her is.

In The Happening, there is no forgetting. After all, this is a movie where people must outrun evil wind. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel turn in the worst performances of their (or just about anyone’s) careers — with Deschanel delivering her lines as if she drank too much cough syrup. Wahlberg sounds exactly like Andy Samberg’s impression of him, which isn’t helpful when the script already does him no favors. Marky Mark’s “What? No!” speech will go down in film history — but for all the wrong reasons.