1. You sleep with your iPhone next to you, curled up like a kitten.
2. You always have to have the newest product, even if you already have the previous edition, because the 5S is totally different than the 5.
3. You still have all your iPods because you just can’t throw them away.
4. You can’t pass by an Apple store without going inside, even when you don’t need anything. You just hang out.
5. An iTunes gift card is to you what meth is to other people.
6. You have an unhealthy obsession with Steve Jobs.
7. You smile when you see older Apple computers, like the classic white model, because it’s like a little piece of the past.
8. You have more than one case for your phone and which one you use varies on your mood.
9. You feel like you’re cheating when you buy non-Apple products, even for things Apple doesn’t make.
10. You own clothing that has the Apple logo or used that plastic bag with the drawstrings as a gym bag.
11. You don’t hate Microsoft. You just think it’s cute that they try so hard to make fetch happen. (It’ll never happen.)
12. You naturally gravitate toward other people who have Mac products, not out of a conscious decision but like moths to a flame.
13. It hurts you to see people put away their computers without a case, like seeing a child in danger.
14. You are forever connected to your iPhone, and if the battery goes dead or (Heaven forbid) it gets wet and won’t turn on, a little piece of you dies with it.
15. With that in mind, you always have a charger on you somewhere.
16. You think Apple guys are the most dateable guys and would date an employee, just for the discount.
17. You can’t wake up in the morning without checking your text messages, and your phone screen is like the light of the sun.
18. You sometimes get so mesmerised by your Mac that you go into a daze while you’re on it, and then suddenly you’ve just wasted three hours on Facebook. Welcome to Information Superhighway Hypnosis.
19. You don’t care that Mac gets all jealous boyfriend about other products, because you didn’t want to hang out with that Samsung away. Mac is all the man you need.