There is a universe where Jaden Smith isn’t real and no one had to see After Earth — or be reminded that there’s an industry that’s willing him to be a thing. But in this one, I have to put up with him, the lesser-loved offspring of the Smith clan. Jaden Smith is one of those celebrities that people seem to find annoying for just existing. If you’re unclear as to why that might be, remember that the wannabe singer and actor is good friends with Justin Bieber and dating a Kardashian. That should clear it up.
If you’re looking to put something on your “I Hate Jaden Smith” Pinterest board, here’s a gift from heaven. For background, Smith’s father has been vocal about his hands-off parenting philosophy, in which his children don’t have to do anything they don’t want — like clean up after themselves. Will Smith said, “You would never tell a full-grown adult to clean their room, so we don’t tell our kids to clean their rooms.”
This philosophy must include going to school, because Jaden Smith recently took to Twitter to decry the practice of education. In a strange rant that sounds a lot like the plot of the movie Baby Geniuses, Smith wrote to his 4.5 million followers,
“People Use To Ask Me What Do You Wanna Be When You Get Older And I Would Say What A Stupid Question The Real Question Is What Am I Right Now. All The Rules In This World Were Made By Someone No Smarter Than You. So Make Your Own. School Is The Tool To Brainwash The Youth…If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth. If Everybody In The World Dropped Out Of School We Would Have A Much More Intelligent Society.”
Note that this very coherent thesis statement flagrantly violates standards of capitalization, because when you’re a Smith, you get to make up your own rules. You don’t need books, school or logic, and the way you fix America’s education gap and urban poverty is to run away from the system in slow-motion, like it’s an exploding car in an action movie.
The problem isn’t school. It’s Jaden Smith, who needs to drop out of existence, or at least call in sick for a while. This is why we don’t let 15-year-olds run the world, and sometimes kids just need to shut up and clean their damn room.