As is its wont, Reddit’s “Ask Reddit” section polled Reddit users on the everyday qualities they find sexy in a mate. Usually I’m not that into these threads, but I found this one uniquely fascinating — as a look into the parts of sexuality we don’t talk about. Sure, people say things we all know like “confidence” (seriously, does anyone not find that sexy?), but others respond with things like “back dimples” and “messy hair buns.” One guy said he really likes it when girls clean their glasses. Clearly I’m way behind on my fetishes.
Some of them are a little creepy, but most are just honest and kind of sweet, a look at what romance and attraction actually are. Human sexuality is everything you can think, strange perverse and often beautiful. It’s what makes love interesting.
When a girl wears one of my button-down dress shirts and panties.
Sexiness isn’t showing off everything you’ve got. Instead, it’s about hiding just enough so that when imagination takes over, the result is even better than reality.
I think it’s attractive when a cute girl is driving a shitty car.
When you whisper in my ear. Could be the ingredients to a pot pie and I’m still turned on.
I love to see people doing delicate, concentration-requiring work with their hands. Puzzles, models, art, suturing, even some gaming – I think it’s the combination of steadiness and interest.
When they go out of their way to include (or acknowledge) me. Even just to say hi. That doesn’t happen often enough.
Gentlemanly behaviour. The first night I got with my current boyfriend, we were walking home from a club with a group of friends who I lived near but got left behind due to us stopping to mack in the streets for a little bit. I wasn’t about to walk 45 minutes home by myself while he went off home in the opposite direction, so he offered up his place but was so insistent that it was up to me and that he wasn’t trying to get in my pants. Then he carried my heels for me until we got to his place, gave me some clothes to wear as pyjamas, and assured me that he could sleep on the floor.
In a very short span of time, I went from “I don’t want to have a one-night stand with this guy who I barely even know” to “Do dirty things to me all night long, please.”
Guys with beards that look like they’re 5 o’clock shadow, but they’re meant to look like that.
Beards. Sweet Jesus it just turns me on so much. My boyfriend has one and it just frames his jaw and makes him look so manly. Sometimes he gets lazy and just let’s it all go (then looks like a murderer) and when he cleans it up into a nice thick chinstrap, I wanna drop my panties and throw them across the room.
Breathing on my neck….or even getting close to it.
When they’re talking with their friends, or whoever it may be, across the room and in the middle of that conversation they look up over at you and smile.
When a girl has a hair-tie on her wrist, and then she grabs her hair, twirling and twisting it up, rolling the hair-tie off her wrist to secure the hair in place. There’s something really sexy about that for some reason.
A very well spoken lady…Sets the mood.
In a physical way: Naked shoulders, that just makes me crazy. In the other way around: A girl able to challenge in an argument without shouting or being a prick.
When a girl puts on her thinking face. As in, she crinkles up her brow and tilts her head and looks to the top right of her vision while putting her nail-polished hand on her chin pensively.
Being comfortable around me. Knowing a girl is happy and willing to be around me and be herself is a huge deal. Bonus points if she’s emotionally secure.
A woman’s clavicle. Don’t know why, but I’ve always found it sexy.
To be fair, it DOES generally point one’s eyesight to the middle of a woman’s chest… And to be more fair (and perhaps equally shallow), being able to SEE a woman’s clavicle generally indicates a BMI that does not suggest a sedentary life style.
I recently found out my best friends boyfriend has this thing about watching girls eat. He couldn’t get hard before he told her. But now that she knows he brings over snacks and candy and he’s now jizzed twice in his pants by watching her eat.
Girls with ponytails and baseball caps. I love that sporty, All-American look. There’s something simultaneously innocent and sexy about it. You know, where the ponytail comes out the back of the hat, like this. I love that.
Deep voices. I love to hear a man with a deep voice speak softly.
When my gf gives me “that look”. You know, that sexy lip biting, I want you right now look.
One is when my girlfriend talks sports. When we starte dating she hated sports. Over the past year or so she’s gotten really into baseball and football. I’m a sportswriter so sports are an important part of my life. When she tells me how many homeruns Chris Davis has, or talks about a players OBP and who struggles to hit a curve…oh baby.
When a girl places both hands flat on my chest. Which can turn weird if its a security person just stopping me from getting in somewhere. Then again who would use two hands in that case? Two hands is sign language speak for the D!
It’s when my wife gets excited about something. Not in a sexual way, just when her eyes light up and something really catches her attention and she engages an idea or project or something. I kind of feed off of that energy and it gives me the happy pants.
Lazy day clothes. The shirt and no bra look is great.
Glasses are also a turn on. It makes a girl look more…. sophisticated and intelligent. It’s sexy.
When I am minding my own business (reading or watching tv) and I look up and catch my boyfriend watching me.
Innocence. Seeing an innocent wallflower clueless of her surroundings is like a breath of fresh air.
Scruffy guys all dressed up. When my floppy haired, manly man is in a suit and tie it takes us multiple attempts to get out the door.
On a woman- back dimples. Some girls have, some don’t. Two symmetrical indentations on the hard, flat lower back. Yowza.
A guy with an awesome sense of humour. Drives me crazy.
Girls with a bike! Or a backpack! Or clothes that say “My fun doesn’t come from a TV, it makes me sweat”. By which I mean it’s more like kayaking or canoeing or hiking or biking or jogging.
Helplessness. I’m not a rapist I swear.
That line of hair that some guys have that goes from his belly button down! Don’t know if there is a name for it but when it’s visible above a good pair of jeans – sexy – oooo la la!!
When women can have an interesting conversation with me. Not just the “OMG those guys broke up, and he went crazy because she slept with that dude” bullshit that girls of my age often talk about. The few times I can actually have an interesting conversation I often can’t get that girl out of my head for days.
When we’re walking together and he puts his hand on the small of my back.
When a guy unintentionally shows how strong he is. Pick me up and throw me over your shoulder like a rag doll. My pants will fall right off.
Readers, what are the little things that turn you on? Which of these qualities also attract you to another person and which do you find creepy and repulsive? Sound off in the comments. Let’s talk about sex.