3 Easy Ways To Win A Girl Over Online

1. Don’t send a dick pic

(Not from my actual experience by the way)

 It’s a common problem, many of my female friends tell me about this barrage of dicks they see online, sent to them without warning or request. By all means if you are using dickpicmeet or onlydickpics then send a picture, but for the other 99% of circumstances and apps I suggest refraining from sending over your penis. I’ve never received a vagina picture online, but then again I haven’t matched with Hope Solo yet..
Again there are a couple of instances where it’s fine.

  • If you are actually a penis who can use a phone? If that’s the case then technically you’re sending over a naked selfie, so I guess it’s only fair.
  • You are going on a date where the only part of your body on show will be your penis, so you’re meeting at a glory hole?

Otherwise, try conversation, or a……



2. Joke, make her laugh.

From experience, humour is key, start with a joke and not a joke where you have drawn a moustache on your penis, remember tip number one. Try a one-liner, a simple joke, open up the mood, I’ll give you a couple of examples, but if she has read this and already knows the punchline, well you’re on your own buddy…

“Why couldn’t the bike stand up?” – “because it was two-tyred” BOOOOOM cue laughter, or unmatching, sorry if it’s the latter. 

“I was going to tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy” – *sound of drum beat and symbols* 

or even 
“I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know why”

I’d save this for the ladies you think have a bit about them, cant unravel a mystery. 

Anyhow, just be yourself, have a bit of fun, make her laugh, because if she’s laughing, she isn’t moaning…I’m joking girls, you are all lovely…

3. Ask different questions, get a different conversation flowing.

By this I mean don’t ask the usual questions all the time, e.g. the “how are you?” or for some of you “Hw r U?”  That’s another no no, type how you would talk, add a little bit of sophistication. Don’t always ask the “How are you?” (“Hw R u?”) or the “What have you been up to?” (“Wt u bin up 2?). 

Ask some unusual questions 

“If you could only watch one film for the rest of your life what would it be?”
 “What one thing could you not live without?” 
“if you had to start your own restaurant what type of cuisine would it be?”

Don’t ask unusual questions such as 

“If you were a murderer what would be your weapon of choice?”

or 

“Why are your curtains closed at the moment?” 

but I mean, that’s common sense right?

You’d think so. 

anyway these are a couple of my tips, this is by all means just for laughs, I’m not trying to be a pretentious twat, just going off what most of the girls I know have told me, but hey, if the advice works then YEAHHHHHH you go big man! 


TC mark

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