The 10 Most Giffable Moments Of ‘AHS: Apocalypse’ Episode 5 ‘Boy Wonder’

Ryan Murphy doesn’t sign off on anything without making sure to include at least one a completely unnecessary musical moment.

When that premonition zombie ripped Cordelia’s throat apart with its bare teeth:

This week’s episode is all about the Seven Wonders. After having a premonition of some post-fall-out zombies taking a piece out of her neck on the ruins of her school, Cordelia declares she will be administering the test to Michael, on the Blood Moon.

Me, the moment they brought up that Roanoke Blood Moon:

CROATOAN!

When Myrtle says that the Warlocks prophecy is just “a lullaby impotent men tell flaccid little boys to make them believe that one day they’ll be something special!”

Myrtle is a goddamn savage this season—but, I guess being burned at the stake (twice) will do that to you. She added, “time and time again history has shown the hubris of men knows no bounds. Have we learned nothing from Attila the Hun? Herod the Great? Mark Zuckerberg?! Men make terrible leaders.” She’s not wrong.

When Misty was reunited with Cordelia and the coven:

Cordelia’s genuine joy at seeing Misty again was palpable, but it also felt really satisfying seeing the glances the other witches gave one another throughout the episode—looks of true sisterhood and fondness for one another, that even Madison was guilty of.

Langdon pretending to be winded after returning from Hell, when all he did was the magical equivalent of taking an Uber ride:

When Cordelia says that Michael is clearly the next supreme:

Only to reveals that it was all a ploy in the next scene.

If someone gives Misty the heebie-jeebies, we listen to her. Period.

In related news, Coco also has a sixth sense: detecting if there is gluten in housewives’ snacks

She’s the next Supreme, no?

UHMUHGAWD WE’RE GETTING A WHOLE EPISODE ABOUT MURDER HOUSE AND MADISON MONTGOMERY!

Fans have long speculated that Madison could be related to Charles Madison, the builder of the Murder House from season one, as—aside from the shared nomenclature—both possess the ability to bring people back from the dead. Charles resurrected a stitched-together version of his son, Thaddeus, and Madison brought back a stitched-together Kyle.

Thoughts and Predictions

Okay, the old-timey silent film tonal callback from Coven was great. It meant we could breeze through six of the Seven Wonders quickly and with a cartoonish gravitas that I appreciate. This entire episode was a welcome relief from the heaviness of the season so far, and reminded me that Coven wasn’t just great because it was full of some of the best actresses on TV, but that the fun it had came from never taking itself too seriously.

There’s a lot of theories going around the internet that following this season, we might see less anthology and more continuity of the characters we already have. I’m inclined to agree, if not for any reason other than the fact that we only have 5 episodes left, and aside from not having any idea of where the story is headed, we also have all the dead bunker inhabitants whose stories were left unanswered—like the teen detective couple that we definitely aren’t rid of yet. It feels like a lot to fit in before the end of the season.

RIP to that dumb hot warlock who got murdered at the gas station… Except, probably not really, because Cheyenne Jackson is billed as a season lead, and he barely appeared in two episodes at the point of his apparent death. Any ideas about how he’ll get out of this mess? TC mark

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