1. This holiday season, try rope! make that special someone the one that “almost” got away.
2. Santa’s nice list is the goal, but we all know someone who has been a little naughty! Celebrate together with blackmail!
3. Christmas is a time of remembrance. This year, don’t forget about the people that made your life unforgettable. Experience Revenge.
4. Why does winter have to be cold? Cozy through the season with an improvised explosive vest and spread searing holiday cheer!
5. Ditch your old bad habits and reinvent your self this holiday season-try identify theft!
6. Squeeze out every last bit of holiday savings for that special someone this year. Extortion is easier than you think!
7. Tired of the same old Christmas around the office? Want to spice up this year’s holiday party? Light up the room with arson!
8. Beat the holiday rush and save time! Consider hiring a professional hit man: don’t miss a single person on your list.
9. It’s sweater season! Bundle up and stay warm with all your friends through human smuggling!
10. Bring the romance back into your life this winter. Try rabies; unleash the foaming passion of your love
11. The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone. This year, let that special someone know your listening: Wiretapping.
12. This Christmas, give the gift of duct tape and zip ties: take them on the trip they’ll never forget.