9 Sarcastic (But Real) Dealbreakers Men Have

Sometimes in life you come across women who seems to astound you with the question “how the hell do guys deal with you, let alone date you?!? Even though the list may seem sarcastic and comedic, in reality, they’re all given deal breakers in today’s world… If you don’t agree, just wait till one rolls around. Trust me on these, been there, done that.

1. The “Clingy” type:

11:00pm- “What’s up?”
11:01pm- “What are you doing??”
11:02pm- “Why aren’t you answering me?”
11:03pm- “Hello?”
11:04pm- “I just want to be with you!!!”
11:05pm- 102 missed calls…

2. Has had more than enough things inside them. “You know people say that sex is a key component in a successful relationship but I can’t figure out why all 54 relationships haven’t worked out…”

3. Children… that aren’t yours. Just the thought of someone plowing you scares me enough, let alone the aftermath of it.

4. Absolutely no passion or direction in the future. “Isn’t shopping a passion? I love to shop. It’s like a passion for me you know? Live in the moment is my motto!”

5. Thumbs never stop moving…ever. “Sorry babe, I just met like 300 people the other day and I just loving texting them all the time! It’s like I’m popular or something!”

6. Phone is never just “off.” “Remember those 300 friends I am texting? They added me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Myspace, F*&kbook, Blackbook and pornhub! WOOO!!!! My phone is going crazy!”

7. EGOCENTRIC. “Why aren’t you this cool? Just look how amazingly beautiful I am? No wonder people want to text me and stuff. Like why aren’t you this popular? Like hot damn I’m good looking. You know you’re lucky to have me because those 300 people definitely want the P.”

8. Unintelligent. “Hey babe! Guess what! I just found out that Muslim is a religion! All this time I spent thinking it was a country.” #Blessed #America

9. Dishonesty/cheaters. “I like to test drive cars sometimes even when I already have one…”