10 Weird Thoughts You Have When You Have Roommates

1. Whose Milk Is This?

Did I buy this? How long has this been in here? Is this what’s causing the smell?

2. What’s That Noise?

Is that the cat clawing its own face off? Is that tribal-trance-voodoo music? Should I call the police or put on my noise-canceling headphones?

3. Did I eat the last of the mac and cheese?

I could’ve sworn there was one more packet of easy-mac; I bet one of them ate it. Is nothing sacred anymore?

4. I haven’t seen that one guy in a while…

Does he still live here? His door has been closed for the better part of the month now. What did his car look like?

5. Who the hell bought 60 eggs?

Now there’s no room in the fridge for my milk… wait is this my milk? Whose milk is this?

6. Does this guy have the same body wash as me?

Is mine the only body wash in the bathroom? Is this guy stealing my Old Spice with the scents of freedom?

7. Where did all the toilet paper go?

Didn’t we have like 6 rolls yesterday? I don’t think we shouldn’t order from that Thai place anymore…

8. Is she seriously still marathoning True Blood in the living room?

The show’s not even that good! If you’re going to watch HBO at least put on Game of Thrones, am I right?

9. Does anyone want to get a beer?

Anyone? You all can’t just stay inside all weekend? What’s wrong with you people?

10. I miss living alone…

Remember personal space and walking around in your underwear? I miss that. I hate having to put on gym shorts to do anything…