We all know how the story goes – guy meets girl in smoke filled room at the back of the local club, they leave together, sleep together, then never see each other again. So why, over a month later, are you still here occupying my every thought, my every dream.
We always knew you were leaving and I should have let that stop me. But it didn’t.
You are the good guy. The guy with just enough charm to keep pulling me back even after I decided to coil away. You’re a rhyme, a riddle I am so desperately trying to figure out and with every step closer to the answer comes a new road I’ll find myself getting lost down.
You’d tell me you like me, but then never message me. You’d tell me it’s not just sex, but I’d still be picking up the condoms and removing your scent from my pillow after every single time you’d stay.
I know I invested myself into this much more than you did. It should have stayed casual, like I told everyone it was, but you manipulated me into feeling much more than that. And I really do hate you for that. I used to pride myself on being detached, from being the girl that doesn’t let her world stop spinning for some guy yet here I am, more pain than I know how to deal with. You broke me. You knew I would always reply no matter what, that I’d be hanging on to your every word and I firmly believe you took advantage of this. Whether you meant to or not I do not know, but you need to understand this: there will come a day that I don’t reply. You will be thousands of miles away with an entire ocean and plane ride separating us and no matter how much I want us to remain good friends I cannot do it alone. It takes two to tango.
Our goodbye was sweet, and I understand it was all you were able to give me. That was the night I finally got a glimpse into what you were feeling, and I believe I had you wrong the whole time. You did seem troubled, as though this was just as difficult for you as it is for me. And for that I am sorry. But you need to understand that now is not the time to be coy or scared. How are you able to know that you will never see me again, and not even try to let me in on what you feel? It truly breaks my heart knowing you didn’t even want to see me one last time.
You were a moment in life too fleeting to hang on to, leaving me with only bruised hands and wet eyes.
And no matter how much time passes I will not stop remembering you, remembering us and everything we could have been.