Imagine the scene; you’re at your local bar, sipping something strong and heavy. You look up and see the man of your dreams, strutting over to a bar stool near you. He buys you a drink, you start chatting to one another and suddenly all the main lights shut off and a big neon sign with flashing arrows appears with the caption “the one”. You swap numbers. 60 years later you live on a vineyard in southern France, you’ve been married for 50 years with this man, and you two have several grandchildren. Thank God for that neon sign right!? Unfortunately life doesn’t work like that; the dreamboat who sits next to you at your local watering hole isn’t always the one. However there are some tips and tricks to help you find your soul mate, here’s six of them:
1. Be happy with yourself first.
No-one, regardless of them being your one true love or not, wants to hang around the girl that doesn’t like to have fun on her own. Everyone wants someone who can act independently. This is a lesson that took me forever to learn, hence why it’s number one on my list. I was so desperate looking for a boyfriend, I got cooped up in the efforts of chasing any guy that showed the vaguest amount of interest and I forgot what I wanted from a man. I look back now at the men I was chasing and I am so grateful nothing ever came of those encounters. I forgot who I was, and what kind of man I wanted. Then when I finally began to enjoy my own company, and singleton life, I found the one for me.
2. He makes you laugh.
To love is to laugh. Life without laughter is just depressing; if you’re going to get committed to anyone remember it could be for life. Make damn’ sure they make you laugh; otherwise it’ll be a prison sentence. Equally as important, make sure you make him laugh. If it’s only ever you laughing at his jokes, and he makes awkward silences at your jokes, I bet you grudges will start forming and cracks will start showing from your side of the fence.
3. He gets you.
Same vice versa. There are only a handful of people on this earth who get me. Not because I’m smart, or anything special, it’s just one of those things. These other people just think like me, and understand why I do things in the particular way I do them. I’m sure it’s the same for you too. Try and find one of those people; it’ll take a lot of time, you can’t really know if someone gets you if they’ve only known you a year. People like old school friends and workmates tend to fall in to this category the most as they’ve had more time getting to know and understand you. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but personally I don’t think I’d ever find my soul mate after a big night out and a one night stand.
4. He makes every effort to see you.
Not in a creepy, keeping an eye on diary kind of way. He’ll give you a text, call, or a tech savvy Facebook message asking when your free for coffee, dinner, skate in the park (If you read that and when “whaaat?” How am I gonna know what he’s into?) whatever. But when you do meet up, it’s so much fun. You’ll end up walking away and smiling to yourself, even when you’re heading off to bed or printing something off in work the next day, you’ll still be smiling.
5. He’ll never stand between you and your dreams.
If you want to off to Japan and teach English he won’t oppose and say no. Your dreams are your dreams; they make you who you are. If he stood in the way then he’s taking away your independence. He’ll support you, come rain or shine. Yeah, if you do something that might threaten your relationship, like moving to a foreign country, you may have some ups and downs. But if he’s the one, and you both put all your worth into making it work, it’ll thrive.
6. He’ll think your beautiful all the time.
It’s true. As crappy and corny as it sounds, it’s very true. With make up on and your best LBD you’ll look stunning to him. But you’ll equally as good, if not better, when you’re in a big baggy t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Unfortunately, there is one exception to this rule, and that’s when you wear a facemask – which is unfortunate, as I do love facemasks.
I ask my boyfriend occasionally, “what am I going to do when I get older, and my face is all withered and wrinkly? Will you still think of me as the woman I am now?” He said that he will find me beautiful no matter how wrinkly, saggy, withered or unfit I get.