I Hope In This New Year You Get Lost

girl faced away
Anna Demianenko

Get lost in the memories—the lessons, the love, the hurt, the growth. Get lost in order to find. Get lost in your feelings; get lost in your thoughts.

Piece together the lessons that you’ve been collecting all year and figure out what has been holding you stagnant and pulling you back.

Transformation can happen overnight but it starts with awareness, action, and you.

I don’t think I’m the only person that had a strange year; two thousand seventeen has been off, personally and globally. There was a lot of shifting—in vibrations, in love, in thinking.

I never liked labels because I didn’t fall into any categories but I read somewhere that millennials are finding it harder and harder to find meaningful work. I was one of those millennials.

Back in the day, people would find a job because it paid the bills and work was work. In this day and age, millennials like me are trying to figure out what makes us come alive, what helps us connect, and what helps us bridge the gap between trying to relate to others (fit in) without losing ourselves in all the noise.

During the last few months of this year, I found myself stuck, scared, and emotional. It felt as if I had no control over my life. I was unhappy and I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t feel safe to be myself. It was the first time where I felt like I didn’t know who I was and where I was going.

What I did about it:

·     I moved to another country—South East Asia

·     I made new friends; I cut off some of those new friends

·     I started saying yes to things I may want (and if I ended up having mixed feelings then I’d learn)

·     I started saying no to the things I didn’t want

·     I started seeing a guy without forcing a relationship on him (it didn’t turn out well but again, I learned)

·     I started cutting people off without apologizing and at the same time, I started letting people in by letting them get to know the real me

·     I went out a lot, more than I’ve ever had in my life which is only two times a week but that’s saying something for an introvert

·     I started asking for the things I wanted

·     I started listening to my heart

·     I became unapologetically myself and that’s when my life started changing

I went from lost (not the typically lost but the lost where you feel like the world is ending because you’re running in circles, in a maze, going nowhere, and you just ran out of water), to digging myself into a bigger hole because I started trying new things, forcing myself out of my comfort zone, then finally finding myself where I was, present and all—realizing that it’s only a hole and that I’m still here. I changed my mindset from “I want to change” to “I’m going to be myself”.

Two thousand seventeen taught me that when you let down your walls and become who you are then you’re welcomed with endless possibilities and the hope of finding what’s meant for you (people, things, careers, magic). By being real you welcome what is real—you welcome a new life, a new chapter. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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