How I Gradually Came Around To Feminism

Ryan Jorgensen - Jorgo / (Shutterstock.com)
Ryan Jorgensen – Jorgo / (Shutterstock.com)

I’m not a feminist. I never was. I would go as far to say that I was quite anti-feminism. Don’t get me wrong—I love the fact that in the past, women protested until they got the vote and burned their bras and all that, BUT I don’t like the modern-day feminists. I don’t approve of all that hating on men and blaming men for women’s lack of progress or happiness, when in reality maybe these women could have just worked harder.

Until very recently, I guess I didn’t understand feminism. I’d never considered it in relation to my life before. I want equality, but I also think that the best candidate should get the job and not the woman just because they need to fill a gender quota. I hate it when people say, “Oh, I didn’t get the job because I’m gay” or “because I’m black” or “because I’m a female.” I’m not naïve enough to think that these things DON’T happen, but I hate when people use such excuses to cover their individual shortcomings. I understand that sometimes we like to make ourselves feel better after we have failed. I once told people that I didn’t get into the National Youth Theatre because they need to have an equal number of girls and boys and there were far more girl applicants and therefore I had less of a chance of succeeding. In reality, I wasn’t good enough. But we all find such things hard to admit, don’t we?

Basically, I don’t believe in using “feminism” as an excuse for personal incompetence. However, on the flipside, I realized today that I have underplayed my personal achievements to make my less successful male counterparts feel better about themselves. It’s as if I’ve purposely been dumbing down to make them feel better because in some warped way, I’ve been programmed to feel that men should be making more money than me.

Now, I do believe in the traditional view that the woman should look after the home and the children and I don’t see this as a putdown to my fellow ladies. I see it as yet another pat on the back for one more thing in life that we (at least the majority of us) can manage better than men—along with things such as multitasking and looking fabulous. However, making myself seem lower down the ladder to spare their feelings? That’s just outrageous.

I am a confident, headstrong woman with a severe determination to succeed in life in every way possible. I actually seek out new challenges if I feel like I’m plateauing. I read the autobiographies of inspirational women such as Karen Brady, Victoria Beckham, Tina Fey, and Jane Austen. These books lead me to feministic epiphanies like this one. Why should I feel bad that I am more successful and driven than the men in my life? I’ve worked hard and earned every achievement. And I’m certainly not finished yet.

What was it that Rudyard Kipling famously said? “For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.” Damn right. More deadly, determined, AND indefatigable. Watch your backs because I refuse to dumb down for any man (or woman) who can’t handle my unfaltering attitude in life. Those who resent me should stop and maybe try taking a leaf out of my metaphorical book…it’s bound to be a bestseller. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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