1. Each time you go out in public, a part of you expects that this will be the day you’ll meet the person you’re going to marry. You know it’s crazy, but you’re still ready for it, and the prospect of it excites you more than anything in the world.
2. You get overly sentimental about moments in your past, even moments that were really, really terrible.
3. You’re always on the lookout for new songs, movies, TV shows and YouTube clips that make you cry, because you love and seek out that feeling of your face slowly melting.
4. Kissing is your favorite thing. Cuddling is a close second. Sex is a distant third. When you’re single, the first two are what you miss the most.
5. You love and appreciate your friends more than anything, and you hope they remember this each time a new relationship starts and your priorities are blurred for a solid month by your prescription-strength honeymoon goggles.
6. You go to the gym 5 times a week when you’re single. You cancel your membership once you’re hitched. Rinse and repeat.
7. You never really stop loving your exes, not because you want to get back together with them or because you’ve forgotten why you broke up in the first place, but because you don’t ever want to let go of the warmth you still feel when you think about the best moments you had together.
8. You feel guilty for the porn you watch. You also feel guilty about what you do while you watch that porn.
9. You stretch the truth about what you like and don’t like in the beginning stages of your relationships in order to more closely match your preferences with the person you’re seeing. You hate yourself as you’re doing it and know it’s no way to make the relationship last. But pretty soon you forget which parts of you weren’t parts of you when the relationship started, you’ve already let them become part of who you are because you can’t help it.
10. You’ve read countless articles and maybe even a book or two on methods and techniques that might give your partner more pleasure. Nothing turns you on more than thinking about giving your partner more pleasure.
11. Your brain thinks you should feel guilty for how picky your heart is. Your heart doesn’t give a shit about what your brain thinks and it never has.
12. Some of your biggest crushes have been on characters from the books you’ve read. This is why you read.
13. Sometimes you wish you could, just once, have a one-night stand. You wish you could enter the words no-strings-attached into your vocabulary. You wish you could have meaningless sex. But you can’t, so you shouldn’t try. It’s just not in you not to assign meaning, painful meaning, to everything.
14. You can’t wait to be a parent. You don’t think about the sleepless nights, the tantrums, or the diminished free time. Those things don’t matter to you. Instead you think about how amazing it will be to share someone, to love someone, to watch someone grow who’s so uniquely part of you and also part of the one person you’ve been dreaming about all of your life.
15. You don’t think being a hopeless romantic is hopeless at all. Because you know better. Because you know it’s quite the opposite.