Thought Catalog

How To Occupy Wall Street

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1. Find a realtor.

2. Ask them to show you around Wall Street.

3. Find a nice place, preferably with a second bedroom for when you have guests.

4. Put in a bid for the place you like.

5. Hopefully they’ll accept the bid. If they didn’t, repeat steps 2-4.

6. Welcome to Wall Street!

7. Alternatively, you could stand around unorganized and unwashed and have no central leadership to your political movement, which is, to be honest, what a political movement is all about (leadership).

8. Have your political movement coopted by dirty hippies who want to push their own hyper-liberal agendas like “legalize pot” (this will not happen) or “boo to inequality!” which is just stupid because that’s like protesting against frowns.

9. This will, in turn, convolute the message even further.

10. Hang out in a park for a year and wonder why nobody is taking you seriously.

11. Fail to understand it’s because, as right as you are about the banks fucking everyone over, Occupy has failed because of a total lack of organization because too many people in the movement are greedy and want their own agendas to succeed, which is kind of what you were fighting against in the first place.

12. Also, the fact that the general public has no idea what you truly stand for other than you are “very angry about the banks” / “police” / “inequality” is totally detrimental. Sure, dude, everyone is angry about those things, but that’s like campaigning on a “WATER IS WET” platform. Get some actual facts and present those instead of this whiney liberal noise. And I say that as a supporter of the movement. I just wish you would get your shit together.

13. And I also say that as a whiney liberal.

14. So whiney and liberal that I actually enjoy The Newsroom.

15. Marvel at the fact that people are getting arrested on the one-year anniversary.

16. Repeat. TC mark

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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

You’ve never read poetry like this before

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