6 Reasons You Should Have Sex On The First Date

I’ve thought a lot about whether or not to have sex on the first date, and a lot of people have told me that I ought to take things a little slower. I’ve given that advice careful consideration, and with that careful consideration, I’ve decided that it’s not advice I want to follow. If sex presents itself on a first date and it seems appealing, the reasons to go for it are plentiful, and the reasons not to, insignificant.

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  • http://twitter.com/phillipefelut phillipe felut

    sounds like you have a date tonight

  • http://www.oneyearintexas.com Perfect Circles

    Spoken like a true MAN.

    • http://stillsandphotographs.tumblr.com Andrea Elizabeth

      …spoken like a true PERSON WHO LOVES SEX, maybe? Girls like to have sex too, and sometimes we don't even need to get all weepy and emotional about it /sarcasm.

  • Taylor

    THANK YOU!  Everyone tries to tell me I'm nuts for thinking this way.

  • truth, danimal

    i wholeheartedly agree with all points BUT i gotta say that sometimes the pre-sex part, with all that palpable chemistry electrifying the air, can be just as fun, if not more fun, than some sex. kinda like how the best part of christmas is the lead up to it. this only holds for people you actually like though.

  • spring is here

    Just made love with a girl I met this afternoon. Now we're reading this article. That's what I call a fucking coincidence!

    • Katgeorge

      A fucking coincidence LOLOLOL

  • B13

    Good lord what a slutty attitude. Sex is a form of intimacy, which should be special. You're taking the specialness out of it. And when you find that “special someone” I hope he ditches your ass when he figures out was a nasty skank you are. Pretty shallow, too. If you don't like them, but they're hot, it's okay to fuck? What's wrong with you? I know this is going to be an unpopular sentiment, because this attitude is becoming more and more prevalent, but I don't care.

    • Buckpt

      Dude, calm down.

    • Angel

      It should be special in your opinion. If someone wants to enjoy themselves with no strings or emotional ties attached, they should be able to without being subjected to your slut shaming and criticism.

    • Taylor

      You need to get laid.

    • coffeeandinternets

      I don't think it's the sentiment that's necessarily unpopular…you just sound like a pretty unpleasant person to be around. 

      And also, “skank”? Really? Was there an official Internet vote to bring that word back, or is it just a “labor of love” mission on your part?

    • SisterRay

      Not a huge fan of the gendered language in there that is seemingly implying you think the writer is female and thus a “nasty skank” and that “he” should “ditch your ass”.  You can have your weird repressed opinions without dragging a whole separate set of issues into it.

    • Collin150

      yea buddy, way to not pay attention to who wrote this article – a dude. If you're all about the pleasantness of the intimacy and sharing, why then go ahead and hate on women? You don't sound very fun to be around. And even though I may lean more to your side of the argument, stop being so judgmental and get laid. Sometimes sex is more than special intimacy – sometimes it's fun.

    • Scarlett

      I, for one, think all of my orgasms are special little snowflakes, so I don't see how doing something fun with someone I think is hot and makes me feel good is inherently not special, even if I've known him for all of an hour.

      By virtue of having this attitude, I don't think my “special someone” is going to be so sex-negative as to ditch me because the path to my vag isn't an elaborate obstacle course.

      • http://twitter.com/Cackles Mitch

        This may well be my favorite comment in the history of ever.

    • Flamintear

      Erm, the writer's a guy?

    • http://stillsandphotographs.tumblr.com Andrea Elizabeth

      Why the fuck do you care what anybody else does with their body? As long as they're safe and everybody involved is consent, it's none of your fucking business how much sex anyone has or how long they've known their partners or how many partners they have. If you don't like it, you don't have to do it! You have no right to judge other people for their private choices.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gregpphoto Greg Petliski

    Life is too funny. I just had a one night stand last night. It was awful. I'm a dude, and I seriously felt used and dirty afterwards.

  • Katgeorge

    I love this. I want to have sex.

  • http://twitter.com/buytoiletpaper Meaghan S

    yes. completely agree. unfortunately, it seems like the whole perception of women in this situation isn't always equal.  getting to #2 seems to happen statistically less often as she is perceived as 'easy' or 'slutty' or whatever. but hey! sex.

  • http://valentine-kitchenson.tumblr.com valentine-kitchenson

    I agree with all this article has to offer. It's just unfortunate how society usually sees it.
    Following nature = being a slutty, dirty whore. Or at least according to everyone poking their head into business that isn't theirs.

  • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

    didn't think i was gonna agree with this article. read it. still don't agree with this article. BUT i really respect the points you made. valid opinion, dude. 

    golf clap

  • Chase Gue

    Sounds like a good mentality, 'yeah bro fuckinggg wooo'….but what happens when your future wife adopts the same mentality and has fucked 50 some dudes before you because she thought the same way…efore you because she thought the same way…

    • http://twitter.com/misszing Zing

      Dude, slut shaming much? I assume he'd be okay with his hypothetical future wife doing the exact same thing, otherwise he'd be a hypocrite. In fact, it might make them even more compatible, right?

    • http://stillsandphotographs.tumblr.com Andrea Elizabeth

      Why should the amount of partners she had before she ever met him even matter? God forbid a woman actually enjoy having sex… /sarcasm

    • soliloquy

      Then she should be really fucking good at sex by the time she gets to you, shouldn’t she?

  • http://twitter.com/misszing Zing

    THANK YOU. I feel the exact way.

  • http://www.noahtourjee.com Noah Tourjee

    DAN YOU ARE A SLUT AND THE NEXT MAN TO FIND OUT YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING AROUND LIKE THIS WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN, YOU FILTHY WOMAN.

    • http://stillsandphotographs.tumblr.com Andrea Elizabeth

      How dare you shame someone for taking charge of their sex life? If Dan wants to have sex on every single first date, it's HIS right and it's none of your fucking business.

      • http://www.noahtourjee.com Noah Tourjee

        Are you saying Dan is not a woman? And that my comment was not sarcastic? Woa, okay thank you!

  • Gogo

    dude you were outed about the OG fucked my girlfriend article…I feel like this confirms that you wrote that article

  • Guest

    this is stupid. relationships are not all about sex. you don't get into a relationship just because you're having great sex. yes sexual attraction is a huge part of liking someone but that's not all there is to it.

    • not always

      and even then…sexual attraction doesn't have to be a huge part…

      for me i think romantic attraction is better (without sex)

  • http://twitter.com/Foxynastylady Foxy nasty lady

    Last winter on a whim i decided to ask out the all-black-wearing, silent barista at my coffeeshop. I didn't intend to sleep with him, but the chemistry was like WHOA and i ended up spending the night at his place. It was a hookup thing for a few months, but now over a year later he is my long distance boyfriend. So…i kinda agree with you, mister. Sex on the first date–hardly problematic.

  • lowman

    Married for 8 years, my wife barely has sex with me at all. Wish I had more before I met her….

    • AJordan

      uh, bummer? you should probs look into changing that.

    • Punxatawny

      Your problem is, just like Cougar said up at the top, American men are prudes. When it comes to serious relationships, they all say they want an old fashioned girl, one who waits for sex, or one with morals, or one that isn’t a slut, etc. And so they pass over their one night stands (“I could NEVER bring my hookup home to mom! She’s a slut!”) for the demure, ladylike girls who wait to have sex. Well did you ever think that THAT IS WHY YOU DON’T GET ANY NOW??

      Your woman obviously has a low sex drive.
      Your problem isn’t that you should have had more sex before you met her, it’s that you should have picked a friskier woman altogether. Sorry, sucker. Sexism doesn’t always work in man’s favor.

  • hubbababab

    please danneil hoffmackey stop writing you're really bad at it.

  • nathalie wlostowski

    nice one, funny article, and I totally know what you mean!

    what I like about 'speeding things up' is: you've seen eachother naked and somehow it puts you at ease. you know what's going to happen on the next date, no pressure anymore. therefore: relaxed date = better date!
    and sex is FUN, what's up with all the pressure around it? sex is fun, supposed to be fun, everybody wants fun (right Rebecca Black?) so when you're young, be crazy and live a little! this way, you won't end up with this 'what if?' feeling

    PS::

    to all the women here making Dan look like a slut: I bet you shave your legs for your first date, if you won't have sex, why would you do that?

    and to all the men here making Dan look like a slut: I bet you all carry condoms in your wallet, so if you're all about chemistry, you won't be using them right?

  • Anna

    Given the comments on here, it seems like we are slaves to sex – no matter if we agree with this article or not. The sex articles get the most comments all the time. We're always looking for it if we enjoy it and need more, we're always debating it…sex has a hold on people that I think is too tight sometimes. How nice it would be to be free from such sensual desires, especially when we perceive it as some physical imperative that must be satisfied all the time, no matter the person.

    • Anna

      Also, less than describing the good parts of sex, this article seems to reveal a kind of sad underdevelopment in the ability to engage with anyone, not just on a “romantic” level. Why do we always disguise the obvious fact that we're settling or cheapening ourselves with the tired argument that “it's just sex.” People's visceral reactions automatically discount the delusion in that statement all the time.

    • how?

      how can you describe it as being “slaves to sex”? because we are genetically programmed to eat, does that make us “slaves to food?” since sex is kind of a big deal because it deals with physical pleasure, or an intense bond, or even creating LIFE, of course people are going to make a big deal out of it. 

      i mean, sure, people are going to have unhealthy relationships with just about anything, food, sex, money, power, but i'm not sure it makes us “slaves” since sex is a biological necessity. just nature

  • http://jnaomi.tumblr.com jnaomi

    to add on to your list, let's not forget the all-encompassing rule that despite what the “goodies” say, girls – its all about the size. I mean forgive my shallowness but I realised when I got back to the dating scene, size DOES matter. As far the guys, and I know this partly cos I'm bi and I'm sure it applies to straight men to, the last thing you want is to finally have sex with a girl with, oh i dunno, WEIRD BOOBS. Seriously. They freak me out. Or maybe I'm just THAT shallow. to add on to your list, let's not forget the all-encompassing rule that despite what the “goodies” say, girls – its all about the size. I mean forgive my shallowness but I realised when I got back to the dating scene, size DOES matter. As far the guys, and I know this partly cos I'm bi and I'm sure it applies to straight men to, the last thing you want is to finally have sex with a girl with, oh i dunno, WEIRD BOOBS. Seriously. They freak me out. Or maybe I'm just THAT shallow.

    • Gucci mane

      weird boobs are fine, grow up.

      • dsakl;fj;alskdfjl

        gucci would never say this

      • http://goldenday.tumblr.com Kia Etienne

        i was under the impression that Gucci loves boobies.

      • http://jnaomi.tumblr.com jnaomi

        that's subjective isn't it. and i already made it clear that it was a shallow comment. sure if you really liked her you would go pass the weird boobs. i'm just saying this based on sex on a first date

      • http://goldenday.tumblr.com Kia Etienne

        BURR.

  • http://dominantother.blogger.com Jf Marquis

    While I often have sex on the first date, I find myself needing to disagree with a few of your “reasons” here. First of all, I don't think anticipation and build up are 'needless'. In the right hands they're powerful tools to craft an air of erotic tension, teasing and flirting until your date is almost nuts from the need for sex. This desperation leads to a better, more passionate sexual encounter – and 1 night of great sex > 3 nights of terrible sex.

    Secondly, I object to the concept as a date without sex as a 'waste of time.' Dates are fun. Meeting people is fun. As long as you have a good time and meet someone interesting, your time hasn't been wasted even if you don't even get a goodnight kiss. Going into dates with a solid end-game in mind will distract you from enjoying the date that you're on.

    Finally, the last point – You might fall in love – is entirely contrary to the theme and mood of your early points, and feels like it was tacked on.

    If you don't like dating, then don't date. Just get a fuckbuddy or three.

  • daphne

    i don't know why people commenting on this are getting their panties in a knot. the fact remains, if you want to have sex with someone on the first date, or happen to have sex with someone the first time meeting them, it's not the end of the world. if it's meant to turn into something special or longterm, it will organically go that way. if it's only a one night thing, enjoy it for what it is and don't guilt trip yourself about being physically satisfied.

    it doesn't mean you have to sleep with every person you go on a first date with. it doesn't mean you've ruined all future chances of building anticipation with that person. it just means you've had sex and hopefully enjoyed it. and if you want it, why stop yourself?

    signed,
    a girl who recently had sex on the first “date” or “night” or whatever you call it, currently reaping the rewards of realizing an intimate connection without the awkwardness and confusion of dating and games

  • cougar

    Actually, I've found that American men have such Puritanical hangups about it they can't handle it. With American men, I have to play the games if I want him to be my boyfriend. If I just want him to be my boy toy, we can have sex on the first date. With European and African men, I can have a relationship even if we have sex on the first date.

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