And Just Like That, She Brought Me Happiness

Rajdeep Kataki

When life has been cruel for so long, you donโ€™t ever expect it to be kind. So I think to myself that this has to be some sort of twisted joke. Thatโ€™s how I feel about her. I donโ€™t mean to, I canโ€™t help it. I find myself stuck on questioning the validity of this reality. But my argument itself is perhaps invalid. Logic seldom prevails in such cases.

There is a strange and soothing comfort in somehow connecting with an unlikely person. But I suppose thatโ€™s the beauty of it all, being taken by surprise when you are unsuspecting the events to come. A point to be noted: Life is eventful. I think we often think otherwise because we expect certain events to occur and so completely dismiss the ones that do.

But she happened. It was hard to miss.

Sometimes, when I look at her, there doesnโ€™t seem to be enough air around me. Itโ€™s almost as if for that brief moment someone has put me inside a vacuum, and I am suddenly flailing for air. I actually donโ€™t mind it. But I make sure my brief episodes of suffocation go unnoticed by her.

I suppose some would say that this can be called happiness. Maybe. Iโ€™m not so sure. Iโ€™m not concerned with giving it a name. Weโ€™re so set on finding happiness that we forget that itโ€™s just a descriptive word for an abstract emotion. The truth is, we may never really know what it means.

But what I do know is that when I look at her and she smiles, I feel a sense of warmth that I canโ€™t really explain. I donโ€™t know if there really is a name for such a phenomenon. But in a lack of a better word, perhaps, Iโ€™ll just call it happiness. TC mark


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