At least for a while.
If it helps you get through today, and helps you lie in bed and close your eyes at night. Then so be it.
But it gets tiring. You lock up all the love you have in your heart and put it in a box with all your memories, hopes, and dreams. A box which will only be opened the day she decides to come back, but darling, you know she never will. And so whatever you managed to squeeze inside that box will be put to waste.
She made you feel like a star in the universe; that’s why I do not blame you for holding on. She made you believe that forever is with her and with her only; that’s why I do not blame you for being afraid to let go.
And one day she will come back, suddenly the world inside you will light up.
But she will come back only to make you realize that it’s time to open up the box.
For someone else.
For someone who sees you not only as the star but a constellation for crying out loud! For someone who isn’t scared to think about forever because everyday with you is a treasure.
And you will hate yourself because you don’t want any of that, you just want her. And that’s okay. You are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling right now.