A Fiction Writer Applies For A Job In Fashion
What made you decide to pursue a career in fashion?
Well, to be honest, I saw the job posting, and my girlfriend said if I didn’t get a real job soon she was going to dump my ass, and so I, um, put two and two together, I guess.
What?
I love clothes.
OK. What do you consider the most important facets of the fashion industry?
Definitely the clothing part. And, like, the runway walking, probably. That’s definitely important. Hold on, I wrote down some notes here for this interview…
…And?
Nah, that was it. Clothing and walking the runway. That’s all I could come up with.
What do you think are the current and future trends in fashion?
Current trends seem to be that cargo shorts are no longer “cool,” or so says my girlfriend, so I had to throw my pair out, even though they’ve been perfectly cool since 9th grade when I bought them, and all the pockets were very handy for holding all sorts of things, but noooo, current fashion had to ruin that. Also apparently I can’t wear hats in restaurants anymore, which is a current trend I think is stupid.
As for future trends, probably jet packs.
Jet packs?
Yep. Jet packs.
How do you think your education has prepared you to work in fashion?
I was required to wear clothing in my classes…so that, like, prepared me, in a way.
Define “Fashion.”
Like, Merriam and Webster’s?
Who?
What?
Never mind. How do you handle stress?
Terribly.
How comfortable are you working hands-on with models and designers?
Like, touching them?
At times, yes, you will touch models.
[Giggles]
How would you deal with an arrogant client?
How rich is this client?
Actually, good question. Very rich.
Let ‘em do whatever they want.
Smart.
Boom! Nailed one.
What qualifies you for a career in fashion over other candidates?
I’m here aren’t I? And 90% is showing up. As for the other ten percent, who the hell knows? Maybe you think I got pretty lips.
Do you consider yourself a people person?
Define “people person.”
How well do you interact with other people?
Like online, or in person?
In person.
Fair to middling.
How do you handle conflict?
Not well. But I’m really good at writing down some devastating, witty comebacks in my journal hours after the fact. You should see some of these things I’ve written. Owned those jokers.
How would you describe your personal style?
Frumptable.
What?
Combination of frumpy and comfortable. Frumptable. I’m going to trademark that word, too. So don’t steal it.
Where would you like your career in fashion to lead you?
If I could somehow bring cargo shorts back into the fold, and/or ability to wear hats indoors at restaurants, I think that would be pretty cool.
What hobbies do you have that relate to the fashion industry?
I visit fabric stores often and try to find the latest prints and fabrics, get inspiration for new trends that I think could catch on.
What? Seriously?
Hahaha nah I read that online somewhere. There are entire stores just for fabric?
Yes.
Fascinating.