A World Series Preview For Non-Sports Fans

As the self-appointed Managing Editor and Grand Poobah of Sports Coverage here at Thought Catalog, I thought I’d take it upon myself to preview the upcoming World Series. And because we know a lot of you don’t turn to Thought Catalog for in-depth sports coverage (though you should hear Chelsea Fagan break down a Cover-2 defense), I’m going to do the thing where I explain sporting events to a non-sports fan.
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You again.

Yes, me. The Managing Editor and Grand Poobah of Sports Coverage for Thought Catalog.

Did you make that title up yourself?

Maybe.

Do your editors know about this position?

They do not.

Alright. So, um, what sport are we talking about here?

America’s pastime.

…Eating McDonald’s?

Baseball. We’re talking about baseball.

Ah. Baseball. That’s the one with the diamond, yes? And the hot dogs? And the boredom?

Sure.

Cool. So what’s going on in baseball?

It’s time for the World Series.

Ah, like the World Cup in soccer?

Well, the World Cup features teams from all over the world. This is just the championship of Major League Baseball.

Little presumptuous to call it the “World” Series, don’t you think?

I guess so.

Little hegemonic, no? Assuming the champion of the American league is the “World” Champion, no?

Are we really going to get into this?

Nah. You’re right. So who’s playing?

The Detroit Tigers and the San Francisco Giants.

Neat.

Yeah. It’s a pretty exciting one, actually. The Tigers have the best pitcher in baseball, Justin Verlander, and the best hitter, Miguel Cabrera.

I believe you.

And the Giants, even though they won a couple years ago, are a scrappy group who play with heart, led improbably by recent addition Hunter Pence, who has taken to giving rousing pre-game speeches to inspire his teammates.

Sounds…riveting.

See, you say it sounds riveting, but your tone…your tone suggests otherwise.

You think?

Fine. Don’t be excited. And, well, yeah. That’s who is playing in the World Series, and I, for one, am pretty excited.

…Sorry. You have the right to be excited. San Francisco and Detroit, huh? That’s sort of cool.

Right?! I lived out in San Francisco when the Giants won their last World Series, and it was a blast. The Giants also have a lunatic closer named Brian Wilson, who has a huge beard and went to an awards show with Chewbacca.

Chewie?

Chewie.

That’s pretty awesome.

Right?

Isn’t New York in this every year?

The Yankees? Well, they lost this year to the Detroit. Got swept. Embarrassing, really. And it was a disaster because Derek Jeter got injured, their captain and leader. Plus there was drama with Alex Rodriguez, who got benched. It was exciting stuff.

Is Jeter the one who dated Minka Kelly?

Yep.

What’s going on with them?

I’m not really sure.

Are you serious?

What?

You know all this shit about some guy with a beard and another guy giving pre-game speeches and pitchers and batters and you can’t tell me what’s going on with Derek and Minka?

I think they broke up?

Oh. Too bad. I was pulling for those two. TC mark

image – l_c_m_tt_

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